How can you tell the difference between a Canadian, Australian, and an American Police Officer?

A joke for all the blog followers up in Canada:


guywithknife

“You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 22, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.”

What do you do?

Canadian Police Officers

Answer:  (Immediate thought processes)

  • Is the knife a ceremonial kirpan?
  • Does he prefer to communicate in English or French?
  • Will this negatively impact my chances of promotion?
  • Is this just his way of telling me that he pays my wages, and wants my job?
  • Would this be an appropriate time to hug him and sing Koombaya?
  • Will the media do a profile of him and how he was loved by everyone including his dog?
  • Is the alleged ‘client’ a member of the NDP or an Environmental Group?
  • Is he just a squeegee kid / pan handler trying to make a living on the mean streets?
  • Is he a member of a gang that is just ‘misunderstood’ by society?
  • Is he an undercover Toronto Star reporter looking for a news breaker?
  • Is he a recent illegal immigrant to this country, and just doesn’t know how to approach the police?
  • Is he recently released on parole and hasn’t been properly integrated back into the community?
  • Is he a victim of fetal alcohol syndrome, and just doesn’t understand what he is doing?
  • Warn and Charter him as he approaches.

Australian Police Officers

Answer:      BANG!

American Police Officers

Answer:    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! (*Sounds of reloading*) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

1 COMMENT

JUMP DOWN ↓ TO ADD ANOTHER

Matt December 4, 2009 at 12:48 pm

The sad truth. As a Canadian i’m often ashamed of this reality. Though we cannot carry, I wouldn’t hesitate to protect myself or loved ones; just pathetic that we pay such a cost, and give up this freedom.

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