Stuff you know if you have an AK, AR, Mosin Nagant

StuffYouKnow

Stuff you know if you have an AK Stuff you know if you have an AR Stuff you know if you have a Mosin Nagant
It works though you have never cleaned it. Ever. You have $9 per ounce special non-detergent synthetic Teflon infused oil for cleaning. It was last cleaned in Berlin in 1945.
You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from inside. You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from 600 meters. You can hit the farm from two counties over.
Cheap mags are fun to buy. Cheap mags melt. What’s a mag?
Your safety can be heard from 300 meters away. You can silently flip off the safety with your finger on the trigger. What’s a safety?
Your rifle comes with a cheap nylon sling. Your rifle has a 9 point stealth tactical suspension system. You rifle has dog collars.
Your bayonet makes a good wire cutter. Your bayonet is actually a pretty good steak knife. Your bayonet is longer than your leg.
You can put a .30″ hole through 12″ of oak, if you can hit it. You can put one hole in a paper target at 100 meters with 30 rounds. You can knock down everyone else’s target with the shock wave of your bullet going downrange.
When out of ammo your rifle will nominally pass as a club. When out of ammo, your rifle makes a great wiffle bat. When out of ammo, your rifle makes a supreme war club, pike, boat oar, tent pole, or firewood.
Recoil is manageable, even fun. What’s recoil? Recoil is often used to relocate shoulders thrown out by the previous shot.
Your sight adjustment goes to “10”, and you’ve never bothered moving it. Your sight adjustment is incremented in fractions of minute of angle. Your sight adjustment goes to 12 miles and you’ve actually tried it.
Your rifle can be used by any two bit nation’s most illiterate conscripts to fight elite forces worldwide. Your rifle is used by elite forces worldwide to fight two bit nations’ most illiterate conscripts. Your rifle has fought against itself and won every time.
Your rifle won some revolutions. Your rifle won the Cold War. Your rifle won a pole vault event.
You paid $350. You paid $900. You paid $59.95.
You buy cheap ammo by the case. You lovingly reload precision crafted rounds one by one. You dig your ammo out of a farmer’s field in Ukraine and it works just fine.
You can intimidate your foe with the bayonet mounted. You foes laugh when you mount your bayonet. You can bayonet your foe on the other side of the river without leaving the comfort of your hole.
Service life, 50 years. Service life, 40 years. Service life, 100 years, and counting.
It’s easier to buy a new rifle when you want to change cartridge sizes. You can change cartridge sizes with the push of a couple of pins and a new upper. You believe no real man would dare risk the ridicule of his friends by suggesting there is anything but 7.62x54r.
You can repair your rifle with a big hammer and a swift kick. You can repair your rifle by taking it to a certified gunsmith, it’s under warranty! If your rifle breaks, you buy a new one.
You consider it a badge of honor when you get your handguards burst into flames. You consider it a badge of honor when you shoot a sub-MOA 5 shot group. You consider it a badge of honor when you cycle 5 rounds without the aid of a 2×4.
After a long day the range you relax by watching “Red Dawn”. After a long day at the range you relax by watching “Blackhawk Down”. After a long day at the range you relax by visiting the chiropractor.
After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for a stiff shot of Vodka. After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for hotdogs and apple pie. After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for shishkabob.
You can accessorize you rifle with a new muzzle brake or a nice stock set. Your rifle’s accessories are eight times more valuable than your rifle. Your rifle’s accessory is a small tin can with a funny lid, but it’s buried under an apartment building somewhere in Budapest.
Your rifle’s finish is varnish and paint. Your rifle’s finish is Teflon and high tech polymers. Your rifle’s finish is low grade shellac, cosmoline and Olga’s toe nails.
Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Mikhail Kalashnikov. Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Eugene Stoner. You’re not sure there WERE cameras to photograph Sergei Mosin.
Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to hold your rifle over your head and shout “Wolverines!” Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to clear your house, slicing the pie from room to room. Late at night, you sometimes have to fight the urge to dig a fighting trench in the the yard to sleep in.

Source:  Unknown author, but appears on numerous forums

19 COMMENTS

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Grayson November 6, 2009 at 04:31 pm

Regarding the point, ‘If your Moisin Nagant breaks…”
If it breaks, buying another one is the second thing you do. The first thing you do is send an e-mail, preferably with pictures, to Ripley’s Believe It Or Not.
It takes a LOT of applied violence to hurt a Moisin Nagant.

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Admin (Mike) November 8, 2009 at 07:50 pm

hahah Ripley’s… Good point Grayson!

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Twitchy June 10, 2010 at 12:12 am

Instead of shishkabob after cleaning, I always look around the other side of the mountain for some unfortunate yet tasty animal that was found by a round that drilled through said mountain after a day at the range.

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Dave June 25, 2010 at 07:14 pm

The Mosin actually DOES have a safety… You pull the knob at the back of the bolt with both hands while the Mosin is attached to a vise and turn it. Getting the safety undone is even more difficult. You don’t have to be careful with it though.

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Noah June 30, 2010 at 05:32 pm

Huh, I don’t know about you guys, but the safety knob on my Mosin Nagant is easy as can be, the recoil I felt was negligible using both store-bought Wolf ammo and milsurp, and I have no trouble cycling the action. Love the list, though, and I may have to print it out :P

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Travis July 6, 2014 at 10:41 pm

Same here, picked mine up and thought ‘Hell yeah!’ smooth action, fairly accurate for iron sights, recoils nominal thanks to weight, and to heck with kick and all. My only regret is buying just 100 rounds of ammo to start with. only lasted one afternoon. 1939 hex rifle and still shoots things without fail. Shoot a groundhog, blows him away and fills his hole, and leaves me feeling like I need to kill an army to make up for wasting the 20 cent bullet on the ground hog.

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Austin January 22, 2011 at 06:45 pm

http://7.62x54r.net/MosinID/MosinHumor.htm
Written by Head of the old Headsbunker.com, also known as “Ezra Coli” on the various message boards.

Is the quote I read from that website. I saw this on 7.62x54r.net a long time ago. Could he be right?

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cmblake6 October 11, 2011 at 02:37 am

Noah, my friend, you just don’t get the humor. *SIGH* I have M-Ns, AKs, and SKs. If I want an AR I’ll take it from someone that doesn’t need it anymore.

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cmblake6 October 11, 2011 at 02:39 am

And there will be those.

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Scott December 19, 2013 at 01:30 am

Recently bought a Mosin Nagant, love the power and accuracy. Very nice combo. Considering getting an AK as it nay be added to my list, perhaps after a couple more Mosins. Lol. I wouldn’t take an AR if someone paid me to. Over priced pieces of plastic. Two out of three are Russian, imagine that….

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Scott December 19, 2013 at 01:30 am

Recently bought a Mosin Nagant, love the power and accuracy. Very nice combo. Considering getting an AK as it may be added to my list, perhaps after a couple more Mosins. Lol. I wouldn’t take an AR if someone paid me to. Over priced pieces of plastic. Two out of three are Russian, imagine that….

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Jake January 9, 2014 at 08:18 pm

AK: In a pinch, you can use your AK with the bayonet attached to till a garden by hand
AR: You’re sure someone makes a picatinny-mounted roto-tiller attachment.
Mosin: Simply firing 20 rounds down a slope to a target 50 meters away throws up enough dirt to till a 4-acre field.

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Travis July 6, 2014 at 10:44 pm

Have an $800 custom built ar-15 that shoots groundhogs at about 200-300 yards when their a problem. A $69 sks that I use to shoot varmits, coyotes, and would use for anything if I need a rifle. and have a $80 mosin nagant that is the first rifle I grab when I see anything that needs shooting or if I want to keep a big dangerous thing at bay. (had a bear in the back yard, fixed bayonet and loaded magazine with five rounds. Bear probably feared I’d kill it and it’s species with the first shot and ran off) Literally not enough good can be said about the mosin nagant rifle family.

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Mike R January 1, 2015 at 03:28 pm

.223/5,56 = Run for cover
7,62×39 = Stay behind cover
7,62x54r = Fuck you and your cover!

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Wolf April 3, 2015 at 09:24 am

My first thought on shooting a mosin for the first time was “I have to stop laughing like this, someone will lock me up”!
I had just started healing after dislocating my collar bone . . . I really did look behind me to see if my shoulder was back there.
I swear I personally had almost every one of these thoughts run through my head at one time or another.
The only thing I have that is more fun to shoot are my muzzle loaders.

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