Building The Ultimate Survival Shotgun

Bayonet, flashlight, laser, compass, saw, inspirational quote and much more:

Check out the whole article at the Art Of Manliness – HERE

I don’t know whether to save this for reference, or read it once more and laugh my ass off.

<– Art Of Manliness isn’t really known for trolling, but this pic perfectly sums it up.

Hat tip: Jared H

36 COMMENTS

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That one guy August 19, 2011 at 04:37 am

Bayonet? I see no bayonet here. I see a wimpy knife on a shotgun.

Regardless, do want.

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Jeff August 19, 2011 at 05:24 am

Well, in the link’s defense, they never called it a bayonet, just a knife, and never suggested its use as one

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That one guy August 19, 2011 at 07:29 pm

Ohho, but even in the link he says he prefers a larger knife, but picked that one just for ease of mounting and compactness.

NEVER compromise on knife size.

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Mike August 20, 2011 at 08:34 pm

*remembers Crocodile Dundee*

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Josh August 20, 2011 at 09:17 pm

I remember this part:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7UTpxFFF8A&feature=player_embedded

*Actually, I just came across something on the web earlier that had what the writer thought were the best thong scenes in movies, and this was on there!

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ZCORR August 19, 2011 at 06:38 am

I really don’t see the point of mounting the knife due to its wimpiness. I’d also avoid putting the compass on there as trying to read that dam thing nearly 2 feet away would be outright annoying.

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Billbo August 19, 2011 at 07:31 am

no cleaning kit? soon that will be a $500 club. Too much crap on that weapon…. at least the sling is useful

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Sid August 19, 2011 at 08:11 am

No GPS? What about an automatic flotation device? At least it has a survival stove hidden in the stock? USB port? Magnifying glass?

As a bottom line, it should be equipped with a buffet sneeze guard. You would not want to catch the apocyliptic virus from the mutant zombies.

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Sid August 19, 2011 at 08:12 am

“apocalyptic” not “apocyliptic”. My bad.

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Tam August 19, 2011 at 08:40 am

Why not just tattoo “I know nothing about actually shooting guns” across his forehead and be done with it?

I bet it does 3d8 damage and will knock a boss monster’s health bar down by 20% with a single shot, though.

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Jared August 19, 2011 at 04:07 pm

AHAHAHAHA 3d8 damage. It also does 2d6 on a crit.

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Legacy August 19, 2011 at 11:03 pm

LOL 3d8 damage.

+1 Tam.

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Josh August 19, 2011 at 11:07 pm

I bet it does 3d8 damage…

How about +infinity to anyone who doesn’t play nerd games and didn’t know what “3d8” meant without Googling it!

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Josh August 19, 2011 at 11:08 pm

Actually, I still don’t know what it means, I just see that it appears to have something to do with Dungeons and Dragons and other geek games.

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Ski August 20, 2011 at 12:17 am

It means you roll three, eight-sided die and sum the results. That total is the amount of damage that it does. But first you have to roll one 20 sided die to see if you hit. If you roll a 19 or 20 (depending on the crit range of the weapon, which in this case I’d bet is like anything over a 10 LOL) then you would roll the additional 2 six-sided die, and add that to your total damage.

Yea. I play Dungeons and Dragons. WHAT NOW?!? lol

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Ski August 20, 2011 at 12:26 am

For the record “crit” means critical hit, in case that wasn’t immediately obvious.

:D

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Josh August 20, 2011 at 01:27 am

Yea. I play Dungeons and Dragons. WHAT NOW?!? lol

What now? Nothing from me… You’re the one who has to live with that reality! :)

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That one guy August 20, 2011 at 04:18 am

You have to be super smart to play Dungeons and Dragons ;_;

It’s why i like nerdy guys. They’re insanely smart, enough so to be able to play Dungeons and Dragons with some proficiency.

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Josh August 20, 2011 at 10:44 am

I don’t know that you have to be insanely smart to be “nerdy.” But you can certainly be insanely smart without being nerdy. Playing Dungeons and Dragons, wearing a calculator watch, and collecting Star Trek memorabilia don’t make you smart, they just make you a nerd!

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Ski August 20, 2011 at 12:11 pm

I second josh’s comment. Though the game does involve quite a large amount of math, so being smart helps. Also NERD 4 LYFE!

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RRix August 19, 2011 at 02:16 pm

Answer, Laugh your Ass Off.
Love the bayonet! Notice that the mount is too far back to allow the knife to be employed as a bayonet. I’ve found that there exists few advantages to mounting a bayonet any weapon, but if one must, Mossberg does make a few models capable off accepting a bayonet.
The pistol grip stock, on a Mossberg pump. Geez, Louise! I am missing half an arm, my right to be exact. I actually do find pistol grip stocks useful and in my case very acceptable. That being said, I love Mossberg’s because of the top tang safety, which when paired with a pistol grip stock makes the safety extremely difficult to reach unless you use the off hand, or negate the safety a carry the gun in the so called Rhodesian Ready (round chambered, bolt unlocked… to fire you are required to snap the slide closed to lock and fire.).
I love the Rambo idea of a compass/flashlight mount. However, I doubt that compass would survive to much battering from recoil before it disconnects.
Shotguns in general, would be about my last choice for a single survival gun. Lacking both range and penetration. Weighty, bulky ammunition would not allow one to carry much ammunition, as compared to say even a centerfire rifle. A .308 would provide both range and greater penetration (at any distance compared to the shotgun). Actually a .223 or 7.62x39mm would as well, and allow one to carry more ammo and etc.
In a real survival situation I would look to trapping/snares to provide sustenance over hunting.

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Josh August 19, 2011 at 03:55 pm

Love the bayonet! Notice that the mount is too far back to allow the knife to be employed as a bayonet.

For those of you with difficulty reading, the word “bayonet” does not appear once in that article.

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ENDO-Mike August 19, 2011 at 04:08 pm

It’s my fault. I used the word in the heading before the video.

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Josh August 19, 2011 at 04:10 pm

It’s another case of people not bothering to go to the source to see the article or its context. Just looking at the picture and making uninformed comments. I’m not surprised anymore though.

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ENDO-Mike August 19, 2011 at 04:13 pm

In all fairness, that knife is sold by Kabar as a pistol bayonet, which is why I used that word. You’re right those in this configuration you really couldn’t stab anyone effectively with it because it’s not far enough forward.

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Josh August 19, 2011 at 04:42 pm

I can buy that Mike. I understand your decision to use the word “bayonet.” It doesn’t excuse the snap judgment without bothering to read the article. Anybody who took a few seconds to browse the article would see that it was neither stated nor implied that it was to be used as a weapon while attached to the shotgun – it’s merely a convenient place to keep it.

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Vhyrus August 19, 2011 at 03:01 pm

I just ordered parts for my saiga last night. I WILL be upstaging this weapon shortly, mark my words!

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Josh August 19, 2011 at 04:08 pm

Things tend to get overanalyzed here a lot. The article never states that the knife is to be used as a bayonet, or anything of the sort. Perhaps it’s attached there because it’s a convenient place for it. All of the survival items on or in this weapon could be stored in a backpack or fanny pack or something, but maybe the beauty of this is that all you need to grab is your shotgun and you’ve got your weapon, your knife, 550 cord, multitool, a way to make fire, first aid items, etc. all in one package.

Certainly not the most ridiculous idea I’ve ever seen.

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Legacy August 19, 2011 at 11:07 pm

The biggest problem I see is if you lose the shotgun, there goes everything else.

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Josh August 19, 2011 at 11:15 pm

That’s a valid point. Used in conjunction with a bag that has the same stuff in it, you’d have some backup though. Lose the bag, still got the survival gear in the shotgun. I was thinking about it, and another problem I see here is that nothing is tied down. Every piece that’s attached to that weapon should be tied down with some of that 550. Gut the 550, tie down that flashlight, knife, etc. and melt the ends of the 550 into the knot. You could be walking around with a loose screw and lose that knife and never know. If it’s tied to the weapon, it’s not going far.

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Legacy August 20, 2011 at 01:15 am

True, but it still seems like overkill having that much stuff to carry on you. While it does seem nice to double up on the supplies it almost seems like in the long run this is just added weight. If you let your survival gear get away from you all at once it kind of defeats the purpose of both having this beast OR a backpack full of supplies.

But then again I’m no survival expert to be completely honest. Just thinking out loud. :P

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Josh August 20, 2011 at 01:38 am

Well, it doesn’t really seem like that much extra weight on the weapon. And let’s consider the context of the article – the title of it was “Arming Yourself for the Zombie Apocalypse: How to Build the Ultimate Survival Shotgun.” If zombies are attacking and you only have time to grab one thing, do you want to grab your shotgun, or a backpack/fanny pack with the survival supplies that are included with this shotgun? Or if you had to ditch one or the other, which one? You probably want to keep the shotgun. If nothing else, these are some creative ideas worth considering. Looking at the article again, the author states that all the additions add 2 pounds to the weapon, and I assume that includes the ammunition. That doesn’t seem terrible, and it’s always nice to have a backup if you had to ditch your backpack of supplies.

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032125 August 19, 2011 at 04:14 pm

Trollish and goofy as it is, if you dropped me in the Bolivian jungle and offered me one, I’d take it.

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Vhyrus August 19, 2011 at 05:22 pm

I just recognized the vertical grip on that gun. I own the exact same model. It worked for about 50 rounds on my saiga before the recoil tore the anchoring stud right off the grip. I hope he gets a better one soon.

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Priest August 19, 2011 at 10:03 pm

well, it is a cool start. Vhyrus and RRix have a point, though: once you got it, practice with it, see what breaks, and fix that next. We all have a few substandard toys we wish we never bought.

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Crunkleross August 24, 2011 at 10:23 am

“Adding 2lbs won’t affect the handling that much” LMAO. Well maybe not in Zombieland.

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