Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you’re going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.

Here’s why:

Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol’ American hot lead.

Basilisk? Let’s see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren’t looking at it–you’re looking at a picture of it.

Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12.

And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it’s because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal.

Now I know what you’re going to say: “But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!” Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?

Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova.

Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don’t think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort’s wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry’s would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let’s see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound.

I can see it now…Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can’t be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series:

“Well then I guess it’s a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1.”

And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.

  • Author: Whind Soull

PS. Click the picture at the top of the post to see Harry Potter shoot Voldemort.

13 COMMENTS

05-3-2011

Bigfoot likes to dual wield!

4 COMMENTS

05-3-2011

From Industrial looking, to classy:

Looks like a fortified Costco.. meh… but then with one press of a button…

Architecture firm KWK Promes left no security issue untouched when they designed and constructed the 6,100 sq. ft. fortress. In order to penetrate the Safe House you would need to match all the required security entrance codes. Upon entrance, one would wait in the ‘safety zone’, an area bordered with concrete walls, before being let inside the house. When the home is in its closed state, it is reminiscent of a large concrete Rubik’s Cube. When in its open state, a draw bridge lowers, connecting the home to the indoor swimming pool, movable walls open, mobile shutters come up, and a rolling aluminum gate raises opening the home to an expanse of garden views. The entire home transforms with built in electronic engines, which means the house opens and closes with the touch of a button!

Source and lots more pictures – HERE

I know I said it needs more guns, but it seems pretty much impenetrable to zombies as is (in its closed state).  In hindsight I think i’d be more worried about supermodels spilling red wine on my $234,563,500 albino T-rex leather couch.

I wonder how many shots it would take with a .50 BMG to bust through those walls? :P

9 COMMENTS

05-3-2011

Britney Spears style:

Awesome stuff. I love when they break it down starting at 2:25. LOL

If you’re going to write a “tax dollars” related comment please include your address so I can get someone within driving distance to come kick you in the balls. :P

I blogged about Britney Spears original vid for this a while back too because she was rocking a sweet belt made out of linked .223 ammo.

Make sure to also check out the Lady Gaga – Telephone remake that was done a while back.  It’s also hilarious.

15 COMMENTS

05-2-2011

Checkmate.  *loads king into AR-15*:

This chess set is yet another one of a kind item. I dare say this chess board may survive a nuclear blast! The board is constructed from 3/16 inch flat and 1/2 inch square pure solid hot rolled steel. Each board square is individually cut, prepped, welded to the steel frame. The board is signed and dated. Simple in design, but carefully crafted. The light squares are polished natural steel. The dark squares are hand painted black. The entire set is coated with clear polyurethane. The pieces are made using .223 caliber bullet shell casings, decorated with cuts, slashes, curls and bends. The light side pieces are set on red oak mounts,  using steel cased shells and the dark side pieces are mounted on black walnut, using brass cased shells.

More pics over at Etsy – HERE

If it wasn’t $510, I would have bought it before I blogged about it. :P

In the comments JamesF gives us a pic of his Marine 0311 Rifleman buddy’s homemade set in Afghanistan:

Awesome… I like how the royalty are .50s, and rooks are m203 shells.

14 COMMENTS

05-2-2011

On May 3rd, download “Escalation”, the second Call of Duty: Black Ops map pack, to play as the zombie-killing dream-team of Sarah Michelle Gellar, Robert Englund, Michael Rooker, and Danny Trejo against a new and unnerving zombie menace. Set in a mysterious, ice-covered, remote Siberian island and inspired by legendary writer and director George A. Romero, a group of four fearless explorers fight for their lives amidst an army of bloodthirsty Soviet zombies.

SMG? Danny Trejo? Soviet Zombies? Even with my limited amount of free time, sometimes I wonder why I don’t own a game system.

4 COMMENTS

05-2-2011