handgun

You’ll learn a lot from this video if you give it a chance:

My Analysis:

Right from the beginning it’s obvious that with this handgun you don’t need to really clear-rooms, you just need to maintain a brisk walk with your finger on the trigger, and scan mode set to “derp”.  Make sure your grip on this handgun is really shitty too… that’s a must.  I’m talking like really have your fingers and support hand positioned in awkward uncomfortable ways.

0:38 – When you’re climbing up loose gravel hills next to a brick wall some shit head did a cringe-worthy mortar job on, make sure again you have your finger on the trigger.   If you’ve played video games, I don’t have to tell you that these are the type of places people usually camp out.

0:43 – Get a buddy with a submachine gun and make sure he can handle finger on the trigger operations as well.  Then run infront of his muzzle pretending to clear the staircase.

1:08 – Yea it’s 9mm, but the gun has a built in recoil enhancer… so that coupled with your piss poor grip will make it look like you’re one-handing a pistol grip shotgun on every trigger pull.  Also, you HAVE to slap the trigger… don’t gently squeeze it like a pansy.. I’m talking really jerky robotic slaps if you expect to operate in Russian operations.

1:13 – Open those eyes wide and keep your finger on the trigger when passing through holes in the brick wall where that dickhead Kool-Aid man fucked shit up.

1:16 – You sense Kool-Aid man is near so you naturally get rid of your rifle and awkwardly opt to cross draw your pistol out of some shitty Russian Uncle Mike’s style holster (Uncle Dimitri’s?).  Once you draw IMMEDIATELY put your finger on the trigger and increase your walk speed to brisk.

1:21 – Patent pending spherical scan, finger on trigger as usual.  This is one of the most advance moves I suggest you don’t embarrass yourself by attempting until you have several Russian operations with the GSh-18 pistol under your newfag belt.

1:26 – Nothing shows how operator you are like barrel rolls.  Again KEEP YOUR FINGER ON THE TRIGGER… this isn’t a game comrade.

1:30 – Randomly drop your pistol so you can showcase a sweet pick-up roll move, instantly gaining advanced operator cred.

1:41 – You have 2 hands?  Why not dual wield?  One gun is for newbs.  Also if you have a submachine gun make sure you always nervously play near the barrel end of it with your support hand.

1:44 – Sometime you gotta take risks as an operator that dual wields.  That’s life.  The wife and kids will understand if you don’t make it home from an operation because you just sprinted with two guns through a battlefield.

1:47 – Always eject both mags in a dual wield at once to check what your round count is.  Naturally this is followed by you banging them back into action on your knees while in a crouched position.  Crouching Sergei Hidden Derp.

1:52 –  Rock & Roll, you’re back in the fight… cover is for pussies, expose yourself and engage the enemy with your dual wield.

2:18 – A mini Kool-Aid man was responsible for that hole.  Ohhhhhhh yeaahhhhhh.

2:21 – If you can get your grip that on point you’ll be shooting bullseyes all fucking day.

2:25 - THV (Très haute vitesse) rounds?  Damn… your operator status has been upgraded to tier i (yea an imaginary number level… real number levels like tier 1 etc… are for basic operators which you obviously are not.)

2:48 – Hug every shitty mortared brick wall with your finger on the trigger that you can find.  Make sure to switch to your shitty hand to go around corners too.

3:36 – The Kool-Aid man is still at large.  You want to spill those delicious red juices all over the rocky ground with one awkward jerk of your GSh-18 trigger.

3:50 – It’s now night time.  The Kool-Aid man has an advantage in the dark, so you need to hold your flashlight like a loser and scan.

Thoughts?  If you don’t agree with my operator tips I’d love to hear why in the comments.

Hat tip: Jay

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