Glock In Uncyclopedia

Glock’s first handgun model was the Glock 17, a 40 x 53 mm high-explosive select-fire pistol with a magazine capacity of 24 rounds (which was unusually large at the time.) The handgun came with a scope capable of picking out moving targets against a static background with day or night thermal vision. Each high-explosive round (traditionally called, “grenades”) is capable of being detonated upon reaching a preset range, giving it the ability to spray shrapnel on targets regardless of cover. A Glock 17 is capable of demolishing a Humvee with a single three-round burst.

The whole entry is pretty funny… read it – HERE



Danni December 29, 2010 at 04:25 pm

Wow, they actually used a picture of a Glock for the article! Good job to the guys over at Uncyclopedia. (hurr hurr Glocks are boxy-looking jokes, etc etc etc.)

Tim December 29, 2010 at 04:39 pm

Uncyclopedia is shit. Anybody who thinks it’s funny is a fucking dipshit.

Sigivald January 3, 2011 at 05:34 pm
Paul August 11, 2011 at 10:01 pm

Yeah; anti-website of the century!

Steve January 1, 2011 at 03:24 pm

Interestingly, I searched for Tim on Uncyclopedia and the article said, “He’s a fucking dipshit.”


lumpy January 2, 2011 at 10:39 am

They haven’t done barrel shroud yet.

georgex January 2, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Wow Tim, get a grip. No sense of humor, huh?

John Hardin January 2, 2011 at 01:28 pm

The Glock 1911, also known as the “Springfield XD”


skipsul January 3, 2011 at 11:27 am

Hey, wait! The first model Glock was the Glock 7, an all-ceramic gun that was invisible to airport metal detectors. It was the favorite weapon of mercenaries and gained a deserved sinister reputation for being the standard sidearm of the ex-military terrorists who took over Dulles airport exactly 1 year after the infamous Nakatomi Tower takeover.

Austin January 14, 2011 at 08:45 pm

I don’t get it. Are you quoting this from the uncyclopedia article? I don’t recall reading that. Cause that’s not true.

skipsul January 16, 2011 at 06:13 pm

Sorry, obscure reference to Die Hard 2 (circa 1990). In it, Bruce Willis refers to a “Glock Model 7” – basic plot line is that bad guys smuggle these sooper sekret guns past airport security (that never happens does it?), and take over Dulles Airport during a blizzard. Nakatomi is a reference to Die Hard 1 (it’s the building the bad guys take over). Glocks were new and scary in the US then, and the media frequently referred to them as these “all plastic” guns. DH1 is a good movie, DH2 is (IMHO) very very dumb, but I rewatched it shortly before coming across this page, and made the joke.

In DH2, the Glock 7 is described as I had it above, which of course follows the movie logic that an gun which is invisible to metal detectors must also carry bullets that are invisible to metal detectors. If you google “Glock 7” you can find lots of threads with other gunnies making some very silly jokes about this, including references to totally invisible “Glock 1″‘s.

Paul August 11, 2011 at 09:51 pm

Gun point WIN! XD

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