Chris Costa And Blue Force Gear Go Full Satchel Retard

This just keeps getting better… you can vote on the next color you want to see the HIV satchel in:


Over at the Blue Force Gear facebook page.  I would be really surprised if this all wasn’t a social experiment that a university somewhere is conducting in conjunction with Costa and Blue Force Gear.  Possibly for some type of shark jumping master’s thesis someone is doing.

If I had to pick, I think the obvious choice is #10, followed by #8 and then #9.  You still wouldn’t catch me wearing one of those derp packs even in black if someone paid me.

I have two past posts on the awkward shark jumping life helmet satchel HERE and HERE which you can check out.




Dave July 5, 2013 at 01:41 am

Color-wise I figure there’s market for 3, 7, 8, 9, and 10
3 looks like an actual back pack
7 appeals to the “I want pink” crowd
8,9,10 are nice and mono-chromatic

1 and 2 are bs camo designs favored by mall ninjas and scream “gun-nut”

4 just draws the eye and attention

5 and 6 are just ugly: kind of like some of the crap color co-ordinations I’ve seen out of max-pedition.

Jeep July 5, 2013 at 01:44 am

6 is the ugliest thing I’ve seen in a while.

1, 2 and 4 look like Barbie-dolls-sized camping tents.

GreenMountain Human July 5, 2013 at 03:37 am

Tactical Hunchback style! Last time I checked, companies have been making these cool things called “backpacks” for more than a little while now. Most are nowhere near as hideous/useless looking as this product. Many are also unassuming and don’t scream GUN. You can get them at this place called “the store”, and unless you’re a serious outdoor enthusiast you don’t need to spend an arm and a leg on something that serves the same purpose as these… “things”…
Then again I guess for the mall-ninja/gun hipster crowd (shudder), and those that simply MUST buy it because Costa’s name is attached, it’s the perfect way to throw away a couple hundred bucks. Most of them probably don’t have a wife or girlfriend to give them hell over buying it anyway. I can’t see many ladies going for this either, they usually have much better fashion sense. For the win I think they should make a turtle shell pattern one.

Jeep July 5, 2013 at 04:31 am

In addition to their ugliness, I have something against these slingbags, or more accurately my back and spine have something against them. They put all the effort on one shoulder, it unbalances you and twists your backbone. This is very uncomfortable…
Even when lightly loaded, these things are breaking my fucking back (just like James Yeager, even if he seems less heavily loaded these past few days.
Hahaha, just poking you Buck, please don’t hurt me… :-) )

Plus they keep slipping down, ending under your arm, on your hips, blocking your movements. I don’t even know if while in a rush, pressed by the lone shooter in front of you and the adrenaline of FINALLY having to draw your gun (I wish a Motherf*** would…), you’d be able to shoot straight with this…

Frank July 5, 2013 at 06:12 am

Thoughts? 2013’s best metro-sexual bag. Because saying backpack is so 90’s.
It’s fucking ugly, I want to puke.

Critter July 5, 2013 at 06:37 am

people wear these? I thought fanny packs were out?

derpmaster July 5, 2013 at 08:15 am

I find this article highly discriminatory, as I have known several people with HIV who were 10000% cooler than this bag.

SittingDown July 5, 2013 at 08:19 am

I’m waiting for the angled fore grip and rail sling attachment versions.

Cuban Pete July 5, 2013 at 09:31 am

How ’bout just a plain ol flat OD green option? For Christ sakes stick with the basics!!!!

smoky July 5, 2013 at 10:53 am

This is what happens when you don’t kill it before it lays eggs.

ENDO-Mike July 6, 2013 at 10:31 pm

hahah that’s an awesome line.

MC July 5, 2013 at 11:57 am

These bags are completely ridiculous. From the website: “The Hive Satchel is a collaboration with Chris Costa that finally brings a discreet every day carry bag that doesn’t shout, “this guy probably has a gun.””

The problem is that — even in the non-hideous colors — this bag is nowhere near discreet. As far as I’m aware, nobody makes a bag that looks anything like this. Anybody who’s seen this bag on the Internets is immediately familar with what it’s for. Congratulations Costa, you just designed a bag that screams “this guy probably has a gun”, and you’re suckering idiots into buying it under the false pretense that it’s “discreet”.

SittingDown July 5, 2013 at 01:43 pm

He should have gone with the violin case…. LOL

Photo of a violin case for AR:

Taylor TX July 5, 2013 at 12:31 pm

its just so fuckin ugly.

Dave July 5, 2013 at 01:03 pm

Let’s just get all grassroots and get a push going to vote in the fugliest one…and see if they actually produce it. I voted for 2, 5, and 6.

Rich July 5, 2013 at 03:24 pm

What no rainbow?

Will July 6, 2013 at 06:21 am

HAHAHA… that would be PERFECT

thebronze July 5, 2013 at 10:47 pm

Stupid and ghey.

Al Cohol July 5, 2013 at 11:01 pm


I don’t believe in god, but I’d sure as hell suck Jesus’s dick before I’d fucking strap on of these across my god damn back.

CopperTopTX July 6, 2013 at 02:00 pm

They’re just so awkward. They look like bad diaper bags….

bandroidx July 8, 2013 at 08:19 pm

What is sad is that these things must be selling or they wouldnt have added more color schemes!

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