Your Derp Scan Might Not Be The Best Scan

Instructor Zero puts on a way-too-long snowy clinic about SHTF derp scan scenarios:

I love the note at the start about how the “FIREARM WAS CLEARED AND CHECKED BY MULTIPLE SOURCES”.  Anti-troll maneuver fo sho…. lets see if I can find other material *fingers crossed* *close captions on*

1:28 – “The point is a need to find the coffin I need to move soon”

I literally have no idea what he’s saying about 80% of the time at least.

2:14 – “Because think about in the mall if a key part the Ghandi have a gunfighter what can happen inside people going penny and when people you under penny Meacham danjus for their cell and for us”  <— PREAAAACH.  Nailed it Zero.

This whole video reminds me of one of the Polenar Tactical Instructor Zero parodies (which coincidentally also took place in the snow). Polenar also parodied him amazingly on the Christmas Special. The combination of those two and maybe a couple more jabs are what apparently got Funker Tactical panties in a bunch.

ambi-turner-zoolanderWe know Zero can shoot like hell.  Is this exaggerated robot shit legit though?  Looks ridiculous.  I’m sad the students weren’t shown practicing it.  It’s amazing how different these “checks” and theories are from instructor to instructor.

5:00 – Zero just shit on all us non ambi-turners.  Thanks bro.

Thoughts? Sometimes I swear these Zero vids are just for trolling purposes.

22 COMMENTS

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Tantal74 February 15, 2015 at 02:41 am

I don’t always Czech, but when I do I use my hellbow.

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ENDO-Mike February 15, 2015 at 12:43 pm

Lol ya best pronunciation ever

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oce;ot February 16, 2015 at 12:58 am

Damn I almost died laughing..

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MJlderp February 15, 2015 at 03:06 am

I feel you ENDO. The thing is that it isn’t deliberately trolling, it is LEGIT full retard at some level.

His glorious theories and explanations combinded with his excellent choose of words and english is hard to beat though when it comes to get the message across.

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ENDO-Mike February 15, 2015 at 12:44 pm

Haha Yea it will be interesting to see if he’s still around in 5 years and if we know any more about him at that point other than the legends that are out there.

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JG February 15, 2015 at 03:54 am

Got to say I am confused these days. I always believed that instructor Zero was a great parody (the name itself, come on) but lately I’m not so sure anymore. I prefer to believe that this is godlike level of trolling.

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ENDO-Mike February 15, 2015 at 12:45 pm

Definte god tier I agree.

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JohnnyIShootStuff February 15, 2015 at 09:11 am

I sense a 360º scan shirt coming from ENDO.

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ENDO-Mike February 15, 2015 at 12:46 pm

Haha I’ll add it to the list to see if I can come up with anything worthwhile.

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heavyfire7537 February 15, 2015 at 10:03 am

LMFAO I love the subtitles.

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T February 15, 2015 at 12:15 pm

This whole scanning business is usually gone about wrong anyways. Sure, you can look side to side all day long, but what percent of the time do you even see anything and remember it? Add adrenaline and maybe some tunnel vision (although moving the head can alleviate that) and it can be nearly useless. I did attend a 3 gun where head scan was required, but a guy, in a different spot every time, held up his fingers, and the shooter had to remember how many he had up at the end of the stage. I was pretty surprised at the number of people who looked, but never actually saw/remembered anything, it was just muscle movement.

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ENDO-Mike February 15, 2015 at 12:48 pm

That’s a really good idea to set up a scenario like you mentioned where guys actually have to look and process the information! I’d like to see that done with Zero when he’s in full turbo high-speed more.

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Guy February 15, 2015 at 02:53 pm

Exactly. It basically turns into a “Kim’s Game” where you actually build up the skill of scanning/remembering vs just scanning like a robot.
Remember the Hollywood bank shootout? In the AAR I read, some of the cops went completely blackout and subconsciously reverted to their training because of the high stress (madman with body armor dumping an AK drum at your face). What training did they revert to in such a high-stress scenario? Picking up brass. Cops were literally picking up brass in the middle of a firefight because it had become muscle memory.

When derp-scanning, derp-scan for *actual threats*. Put up man shaped targets, have some guys (safely) on the sides in concealment, etc. Otherwise, in a “real” scenario, you’ll revert to your expensive tactical-operator tier 99 training and just go through the motions, essentially picking up brass.

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FX March 1, 2015 at 06:27 pm

Wow! This is the first time I have heard of that. I think that it is a brilliant drill. I struggle with tunnel vision and have been working hard on maintaining situational awareness in high stress situations. Drills like this could do wonders for me. Thanks for sharing.

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Guy February 15, 2015 at 02:43 pm

That thigh-rig highlighting his junk is making me simultaneously uncomfortable and aroused.

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jim bob February 16, 2015 at 02:50 pm

it gave me a tactirection.

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Dan G February 15, 2015 at 05:48 pm

This type of video is what makes me think lowly of most YouTube “Tactical” Firearms instructors, He shows why he doesn’t do it the “wrong” way but then does not actually show the right way in the same manner and its because he knows if he did it would have had the same result.

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Paste February 15, 2015 at 08:07 pm

It was perfectly safe to muzzle the entire class and himself (his own hand) with the weapon because he had a yellow plastic safety training barrel. It was neatly tucked into the center of his chest rig, you know for safety.

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GuruOGuns February 15, 2015 at 08:35 pm

The point is you should correctly look to see who shot you in the back while you were engaging one of the evil doers in the front.

Your gun, it shoulda be on the same axis as you are loooking,…. even though it is pointed in the wronga directionsana ita willa beeaa more nature to do asoo.

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Jeep February 16, 2015 at 02:22 am

You don’t undah-stand. It is danjus situation !

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Davan February 16, 2015 at 05:29 am

Don’t worry, it’s coming down the pipe line that he’s also a fraud, give it about a week or so.

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FX March 1, 2015 at 06:22 pm

Regardless of how you feel about Zero, he says something that I feel is overlooked and not shared often enough with students. In the video Zero says (paraphrase), “There are so many options available for you to use, but unless there is solid logic behind its application, its just bullshit.”

…can’t argue with that, can you?

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