The Secret Is There Are No Secrets To Gun And Knife Disarms

Ohhh I see what you did there with the title Funker Tactical *as you can hear their marketing machine steadily whirring in the background*:

I really am considering opening a mock training school just to make epic troll youtube videos.  It’s proven over and over again that you basically just need self confidence and the gift of gab in order to justify whatever you want.  Oh and you need to print some t-shirts with your crest on them.  The t-shirt gives like 98% of the credibility.  Now to put out a casting call for a troll assistant who will do all the choreographed moves I tell him to…. oh wait… him?  Did I seriously forget the #1 key to growth hacking?  I need to hire some fit mid-twenties girl to woo everyone into sharing for views and it’s game over.

Thoughts?