assault rifle

Because Jim Carrey is apparently still relevant:

I’ll admit I liked Ace Ventura, and The Mask back in the day.  I can’t wrap my head around how he figures it’s incomprehensible someone would by an “assault rifle” for protection or even for recreation.  Last time I checked, there are millions of AR-15s out there that haven’t been used to kill innocent children.  You really need to keep an eye on those things though… they could sneak away and do bad things when you’re not looking.


I doubt Jim Carrey is famous enough to have armed security anymore, but you never know. Granted they likely wouldn’t have “assault rifles” but I’m sure they would carry assault handguns with assault clips.



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USB key, ballistic calculator, pill bottle sights, shoulder thing that goes up, snorkel silencing device, forward grip, 120 round high capacity snake magazine.

Dangerous…  we need to keep these out of the wrong hands.


Hat tip: Jesse


Sturmgewehre breaks it down:

Assault-Rifle-Because-I-Am-BlackYea… exactly.  Watching this video should be required for anyone parroting gun control catch phrases they know nothing about.



Well… one guy did accidentally:

D.C. hipster Seth Horvitz says he ordered a flat-screen television from a third party through He received a package that was left in the hallway outside of his Northeast D.C. apartment Tuesday, but instead of a television, he found a black semi-automatic rifle inside the box.

*GASP*  And reporter Paul Wagner spent the day “investigating”!

Full Story – HERE

What is a hipster to do? I’ll tell you what he does.. he “FLIPS OUT!” as he says in the video.  I’m pretty the main reason he didn’t just pretend like nothing happened and keep the rifle is because Sig Sauer is sooooooo mainstream.

It was a mistake, no one died. Get to the root of the problem quickly, make sure it doesn’t happen again and everyone can move on with their lives.  Despite the fact they mention over and over, the exchange of money was only taken care of by Amazon, and they had nothing to do with the TV/rifle mix-up.

I’m just surprised the hipster wasn’t thrown in jail, seeing as this happened in D.C. and all.

Statement from Caroline Brewer, Spokesperson for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence:

Clearly, it’s a dangerous situation in America when assault weapons are so prevalent and can so easily end up in the wrong hands, especially given that the rifle was left on the doorstep. Thank goodness, Mr. Horvitz and his wife alerted the Metropolitan police right away. This mishap could have led to another tragedy.

LOL Brady Campaign… their statements are so predictably hilarious.  It’s sure lucky the hipster and his wife did alert the police so quickly because those assault rifles get antsy when they are in their boxes too long, and when they get antsy they start killin things!


Hat tip: Scott, Art, Keith


This is what I consider a valid gentleman’s rant:

Note that he actually states facts.

OMG what a scary shirt he has on… 4 high capacity assault clips filled to the top!  I hear those bullets can pierce tank armor and shoot down airplanes! You can pick up your own Black Rifle t-shirt over at ENDO Apparel.

If you’re not already subscribed to MrColionNoir you’re slippin.. go do it now.  He needs to start getting more of that YouTube money to pay for ammo now that he turned into a hipster and bought a Glock 33 ( .357 Sig ). :P

Thoughts?  How many rounds are too many? Think of the children.


Editorial cartoon troll at its finest:

Looks like somebody watched Echelon Conspiracy.

The only thing I’m slightly impressed with is that they managed to capture the essence of the curvature the 7.62x39mm magazine has.  I’m sure that was on purpose *eye roll*.

At least with sights like that the shooter would just be hitting the ceiling.  Although since the rifle has a pistol grip, a high capacity assault magazine and a vertical fore grip (VFG) the damage is bound to be incomprehensible. 


Hat tip: Kev