Chris Kyle

Complete with double bottle opener:

Sheepdogs will look you dead in the eyes and tell you how they protect the sheep from the wolves.. then use this contraption in their lifted Jeeps while going forty mph over the speed limit down the interstate, drinking a white monster and steering with their knee as they eat a triple Whopper, Bodies hit the floor booming distorted through the speakers trying so hard to get that one way ticket to visit their idol Chris Kyle.

Gat tip: @mcbolsky

Products currently haunting my dreams:
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Pure awesome:

0:28 – Ok, it never said this guy’s name but I’m now assuming he owns / founded TrackingPoint.

TrackingPoint-American-Sniper-ShootoutChris Kyle’s wife Taya Kyle will be competing.  1:30 – $1 Million on the line!  She will be shooting on the TrackingPoint platform v.s. a world class shooting on a military (precision?) rifle.  I always think of a worst case scenario… can you imagine if this world class shooter beat Taya, and kept the $1M?  Oh man that would be like Jesse Ventura levels of butthurt across the board.  Will Jesse Ventura be at this shoot?  Uhhhhhh unlikely (see linked video).

Mason, TX – December 5th. Tickets are only $10 unless you’re Military / Police / First Responder / Fire dept, and then it’s free.  More info on the website where you can also make a donation if you wish.


Every Canadian stereotype known to man:

American-Sniper-Movie-Bradley-CooperMeh, not bad I suppose.  Definitely a sprinkling of butthurt in the comments.  Apparently Chris Kyle related jokes even in good fun are not well received by some people.  Not sure how this could be considered “offensive” to Chris Kyle’s legacy… if anything Canadians who don’t sound like idiots should be offended at the perpetuation that everyone sounds like they are from John Candy’s movie Canadian Bacon (who by the way the shithead Michael Moore directed haha). People who get offended by things that have no impact on their life, and that they have no actual connection to are hilarious. Also, I’m pretty sure Chris Kyle had a sense of humor considering he was bros with Zach Galifianakis, and co-starred with him in Hangover.. one of the funniest movies of all time. That was a joke, if some of you actually think I’m serious.

On a related note, it was really cool that Warner Bros. flew Chris Kyle’s widow out to the Academy awards. She looked like a movie star, and even brought his dog tags along! Heartbreaking she had to rush back to Texas to attend the trial of her husbands murderer. :(


In reference to the 3 bonus books I put up for grabs


Here are the 3 randomly chosen winners and their favorite derp post:


I thought this guys video was hilarious. It was really put together like an infomercial. SHAMWOW


I can’t believe I’m the guy to post this one, seriously. This is THE DERP of all DERPS. (I wish the vid was still up)

you know it’s bad when the guy pulls his own video over all the ENDO flack he got. And this was the follow up to the first post…


My favorite derp is

partially because i tipped it to endo, and partially because its hilarious how much it has failed with the horrible reviews, tons of fake entries (police departments, the white house, the list goes on) this app was trolled hard as it derserved.

I want this book!

Winners will be contacted via email.

Thanks for participating everyone!  More giveaways coming soon.



Chris-Kyle-American-Gun-BookThree more books up for grabs.

Rules: Comment on this post with the LINK to your favorite derp incident, person, or group I’ve posted about.  Include why you chose it as your favorite.  USA addresses only.  If you already won this book don’t be a dick and try to win a 2nd one.

Draw:  Friday at midnight.  I’m not chasing people down this time… You can check the blog post announcing the winners on Friday, I’ll email those winners and if I don’t have an address by Monday morning I’m drawing a new name.

More giveaways coming soon.  The previous winners’ books will be mailed this week.



Blog Winners (and their comments):

  • patriotunknown – “summer reading list… check. thanks endo”
  • Clay – “ENDO is about guns. Nuff said.”
  • Gun Runner – “Wait, you’re telling me this site isn’t just a front to constantly plug your shirts? There is other content here? What else are you keeping from me?!”
  • Derrick Zoolander – “I’m done modeling for you Mugatu. I know you secretly like Hansel. I’ve had enough of you games. I’M DONE.  ps. Call me on my mini cell for an Orange Julius sometime.”

Facebook Winners:

  • Ari Blatt
  • Paul Zuk
  • Gregory Markle
  • Karl Henkels
  • John McGrath

Instagram Winners:

  • @halfblakedd
  • @rubberberner
  • @b_gerk
  • @mikepfeiffer
  • @jstreet34

Instagram and facebook winners are going to have to contact me (email address in the blog sidebar).  The blog winners I’ll email to get your shipping address.

Make sure to pick up a copy over at Amazon if you didn’t win one of these!

Thanks for the participation everyone.  I’ll try and run some more giveaways soon!

If you happened to win more than one book please be honest and I’ll re-draw that one.

Thanks again to William Morrow / Harper Collins for providing the books!