dog

Oregon is on fire (figuratively and literally).  Instructor Zero is me:

Here’s a quick Sheepdog fan fiction I whipped up for you fellas:

The small wiener dog gasps for air as I pull his heat-exhausted limp body through the window frame of the 2008 Chevy Malibu.  The crowd in the Walmart parking lot that gathered around me cheers, yelling “Hip Hip Horayyyyy” as I put my FABARM STF-12 on safe and take a knee.  I pour cool water into my hand and bring it to the long K-9s mouth; his tongue lapping it up… life coursing back into him.  “Not today my friend… not today” I whisper as I gently pet his small head.  I hear a scuffle… people yelling… 1 woman…2 women… a whole bunch of citizens coming to my defense.  The aggressor / vehicle owner pushes their way through the crowd to confront me.  “WE WuZ JUST IN THERE FOR A MINUTE.  YOU OWE $200 FOR THAT WINDOW.” an emaciated looking woman with rotten teeth yells at me, getting all up in my face.  Still down one one knee next to her dog, I remain calm.  “Miss, it’s 108 degrees out.”  I say as I look down at the dog who is now wagging his tail and see that his ID tag reads Weenie.  “Weenie wouldn’t have lasted another 2 minutes, my work here is done.” I say.  “BuT MUH WINDOW?!” she replies earnestly.  I pet Weenie’s long body one last time, say a quick goodbye and good luck to him before getting back into my Tacoma in an adjacent parking spot.  Weenie’s owner screaming obscenities at me, and the crowd cheering in my honor; I gingerly reverse the massive SR5… navigating expertly, even with the limited visibly due to the 24″ diameter punisher head decal and full length thin blue line on the rear window.

Thoughts?  You practicing some glass breaking soon?  Gotta train like you fight.

COMMENT

Sounds like a plan:

5.11 in the spirit of the new FarCry 5 game which comes out March 27th.  My girlfriend has been amped about that game for like a year now.  I’m not into the time investment these games require, but I’ll gladly sit on the couch while she plays and make up blog posts, read, kill time on Twitter etc.  I have to say, FarCry 4 was pretty cool, I hope 5 lives up to the hype.

Smart and obedient dogs are so cool.

Thoughts?

COMMENT

haha nice.  Would see in theaters.

COMMENT

Location: Arizona.  Well this is obnoxious:

0:13 – “I’m going to call the police on you right now buddy, for walking your dog on the fucking ground.  Do you know how hot it is dude?” -Bud Slayer

Man, I do NOT like that guy’s tone.  I get it… he’s concerned the dog might be getting it’s paws burnt, fine whatever I don’t know enough about dogs to have an opinion on if this is just or not… but come on you couldn’t have came at the guy nicer?  Without trying to sound like you have the authority to tell him (a grown man) what to do?

0:45 – OH SHIT!  It’s on now.

Wow “Bud Slayer” (the guy doing the confronting) just won’t quit and STFU.  I thought the video was going to be over like 6 times, but no… the guy kept prodding and prodding.

Yea that dog looks REAL uncomfortable *eye roll*.  I’m sure there are telltale signs if a dog had unbearably hot feet.

For reference, since we so far just know what the dog walker looks like… put a face to the Bud Slayer name:

Bud-Slayer

Oh and here’s a video of him too.  Oh yea I’m sure the cops would LOVE to talk to this guy, and take everything he says extremely seriously.  Every single one of his YouTube videos is just him blasted out of his mind talking shit at the camera. Naturally he addresses his “haters” in a couple videos.. because when you have 120 YouTube subscribers that’s obviously a massive army of people who are plotting to bring your empire down. LOL.

If you don’t want trouble with Bud Slayer there won’t be no trouble…. as long as you walk your dog in the air, or carry it or something. *shrug*

Thoughts?

COMMENT

Mountain Home, Arkansas is the place. One left to poop out:

The video is way too long, but basically the dog chewed up 23 rounds, and he has chewed and swallowed various other items in the past.  You can read the full story over at the Baxter Bulletin.

hahah man what an awesome breed of dog, but what a nightmare this one is at the same time.  I hate to think what the bill for that type of dog surgery is too.  I’m sure those of you with pets know all too well.  I’ve never met anyone with a pet who hasn’t had to pay thousands for something health related at some point.

Gundog-cop-policeHopefully the guy in the video keeps stuff off the floor / out of reach from now on.  Even better, get to the root of why the dog is eating these random things in the first place.  I did a bit of googling and it seems like some of the reasons such as not getting enough attention, wrong diet, and stress, could be worked on to see if the situation improves.

Thoughts?

Gat tip: SayUncle

5 COMMENTS

Smart dogs know:

Perfection.  Damn I love German Shepherds… If I ever have a big yard I’d have one outside for sure.  Ban assault dogs?  Nah, I hope not.

Thoughts?

3 COMMENTS