Oregon is on fire (figuratively and literally). Instructor Zero is me:
Here’s a quick Sheepdog fan fiction I whipped up for you fellas:
The small wiener dog gasps for air as I pull his heat-exhausted limp body through the window frame of the 2008 Chevy Malibu. The crowd in the Walmart parking lot that gathered around me cheers, yelling “Hip Hip Horayyyyy” as I put my FABARM STF-12 on safe and take a knee. I pour cool water into my hand and bring it to the long K-9s mouth; his tongue lapping it up… life coursing back into him. “Not today my friend… not today” I whisper as I gently pet his small head. I hear a scuffle… people yelling… 1 woman…2 women… a whole bunch of citizens coming to my defense. The aggressor / vehicle owner pushes their way through the crowd to confront me. “WE WuZ JUST IN THERE FOR A MINUTE. YOU OWE $200 FOR THAT WINDOW.” an emaciated looking woman with rotten teeth yells at me, getting all up in my face. Still down one one knee next to her dog, I remain calm. “Miss, it’s 108 degrees out.” I say as I look down at the dog who is now wagging his tail and see that his ID tag reads Weenie. “Weenie wouldn’t have lasted another 2 minutes, my work here is done.” I say. “BuT MUH WINDOW?!” she replies earnestly. I pet Weenie’s long body one last time, say a quick goodbye and good luck to him before getting back into my Tacoma in an adjacent parking spot. Weenie’s owner screaming obscenities at me, and the crowd cheering in my honor; I gingerly reverse the massive SR5… navigating expertly, even with the limited visibly due to the 24″ diameter punisher head decal and full length thin blue line on the rear window.
Thoughts? You practicing some glass breaking soon? Gotta train like you fight.
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