Funker Tactical

FuNkeR tAcTicAL did it… I’d actually be very surprised if this was their first “21 foot rule” video.  Seems like something their marketing machine would have already cranked out 50 times over, but who knows:

Basically the moral of the story is if you’re not paying attention, it’s easy to get stabbed before you can pull your gun out and shoot.

Thoughts?

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FUNKER TACTICAL cut another SLAPPER for only the most intelligent shooters.  If you’re a rube, or you don’t have a minimum of a masters degree then don’t even click on the video below.  Honestly I wish I could set up some sort of a verification process, where a notarized copy of your degree could be uploaded for me to verify, before I gave you access to this video.  hahha just trollling you guys, check the vid:

So wild… the narration… the footage.  The marketing machine is running full speed at Funker, I love it.  Maybe I’m the only one entertained by this stuff, I don’t know.  I’ve blogged about Todd Fossey before, and his “data mining“.

8:14 – This is the type of stuff I do at home to make my girlfriend laugh.  But then I typically OVER do it and, she’s like “OK MIKE ahhaha THAT’S ENOUGH, I GET IT”.  I should probably start a training school.

Here’s the “trailer” for his school (Integrated Defense Strategies)… there’s talk about flock watching which piqued my interested naturally because I LIVE and breathe for that kind of talk.  And as he says “it’s not something I can explain to you, it’s something I have to show you”

If any of you want to do a cRedEnSHuLs check of Todd Fossey he has his and his team’s listed here on the website.  I’m not going to try and act like I know what goes into becoming an NRA certified firearms instructor, because I don’t… NRA Range Safety officer… again I have no idea but I bet it involves (at a minimum) telling people to keep their “booger finger off the bang switch”, I’ve never even heard of “NRA Certified Personal Protection Inside the Home Instructor”, it’s a long-ass title that sounded fake to me… but I just googled it and it checks out.

Thoughts? I sould pay Funker to make one of these videos for me someday (if he would stoop to that level). It would have to really stroke the hell out of my ego for the $10k he probably charges though… like I’m talking the narration would need to be so over the top, but completely straight faced that viewers would be like “Wait… I can’t tell if this is serious or not… is it? Ugh man I don’t know but whatever ENDO is selling here, give me 5 of them.”.

COMMENT

Funker Tactical has some content:

It’s true.  They say the if your blog has “gun reviews” you get 1.6billion times more visitors than if it doesn’t.  Researching ‘why?’ sounds a lot like work, but I’m guessing because normies search google for cringey stuff like “Sig Sauer Tread Review” and “Taurus TX Review” etc.  Lucky I don’t care about views or getting free stuff.  Someday (we have discussed this in the comments in the past) I might flip the script and offer things like “I think your product is dumb, but if you pay me I’ll run a ironic promo for it” in response to emails… and just offer make up a big shitpost on the product (if I actually don’t like it).  You guys will know if/when I do that though, because it will be a train wreck and I’ll try to cut you in on the deal somehow with free product or something.  I think you’d be surprised at the amount of companies that have a sense of humor and be down for that… it wouldn’t be a lot but it would be more than you’d expect.  I bet if I lined up 100 sheephitters at SHOT and showed them my Sig Sauer Tread promo criticisms for instance, a good portion would want to punch me in the face because they strongly identify with the messaging, another portion would be like “I’ve never heard of that until now, but can you please get your neckbeard-having-mountain-dew-ass-breath-cheeto-fingers shoving an iPad in my face away from me?  SECURITY!”, and the remainder would feel it at their core like “HELL YA BRUTHER.  Where do I swipe my card to buy one?”.  Sig wins in every possible outcome.

Thoughts?  I feel like FuNkEr has been a little slow with the content lately.  I was thinking about that while blogging the other day, and was like I hope that dude is alright.  *shrug* We content creators (I’m lumping myself in that group for max cringe) need time off though too.  I’ll allow it.

COMMENT

Damn I heard the electronic noise, the explosion, more electronic noise, and a shell casing drop in the intro all while looking at the words EXCLUSIVE and PATERON, and FuNkEr TaCtiCaL and I knew it was going to be some premium-ass content:

Holy, I can’t believe they gave us that for free without even contributing to their pAteRoN *sarcasm*.  In fUnKeR’s defense, everyone has been beating a dead tactics content horse for a Looooooooong time.  These videos just come in different shapes and sizes now… sometimes it’s a fat guy in a polo shirt saying the same thing,  maybe it’s a guy on Instagram who wears skinny jeans spikes his hair moves like a robot and has biblical stuff in his bio, maybe it’s a “relatable cool mom”.  It’s all the same.  Oh well /rant off.. fellas, these are the hazards of shitposting. I gotta comb through to find only the shittiest content to aggregate or I’m not doing my job.

Thoughts?

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FunKeR TaCtiCaL is the absolute kings of hype clickbait.  For AdVaNceD WaRRiOrs OnLy GuiSe:

Initially I was like “Huh?” why are these two dudes all locked up on the ground?  How does this even happen in real life?  Pretty standard FuNkEr TaCtiCaL video though so far.

0:33 – Seriously?  That easy huh?  When the maneuver ended I lost it.  😂 Oh wait… I’ve BEEN TROLLED 😭😤😂

Oh man FuNkEr TaCtiCaL is becoming self aware.  What a day.  *slow claps heard echoing across the internet*

Thoughts?

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TrAiN LiKe YoU FiGhT:

The music… the quick cuts… the zoom, the buzzwords… classic FuNkEr eDiTiNG right there 👌.

I’m not saying Todd is not making sense… he might be (I haven’t crunched the numbers yet… you know.. carried all the ones and avoided dividing by zero), I just gotta snicker a bit when people seemingly pay show up to these things and it turns into a college lecture on neuroscience.  In my head I’d just be thinking *bruh… when are you going to quit talking so I can start talking shit at the fake assailant I’m matched with, and Mozambique him with the SIRT?*  If you’re not Mozambiquing in EVERY scenario with the SIRT are you even training?

90% SIRT Training / 10% Live Fire he says.

Thoughts?

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