Lahner Academy

More “training”:

Lahner-Academy-TrainingThis is one of those v rare videos, where I could talk shit about timestamps but literally every second is notable and I’m not in the mood to write an essay.

Where’d they get that Russian club music from tho? AHHAHAHA

Thoughts?  Are you an old fat white guy and do you approve this video?  It’s videos like this that get me up in the morning to keep doing this ENDO thing.  I feel like my veins have been injected with flaming jet fuel because of this video, and this high will no doubt last months.

P.S. This isn’t the first rodeo with Lahner Academy.  I’ve blogged about them here, here, and here… and its been a wild ride.

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The German old guys of Lahner Academy are at it again:

It’s basically the high-speed version of the derpy bodyguard ballistic blanket I posted about last week.

The best part about these videos is watching the old guys demonstrate by beating the crap out of one another.

Lahner-Academy-TrainingAre soft armor shield configurations like this used at all in the US?



The old fat German white guys of Lahner Academy:

Sweet hand to hand combat mein bros.  I have no doubt the effectiveness of light strobing in someones face, or hitting someone with a flashlight, but this video is embarrassing and unnecessary unless it’s sole purpose was to hawk Klarus Flashlights.  I’ve never heard of Klarus, but in their defense they do have some nice looking offerings.

Lahner-Academy-TrainingDo you not remember Lahner Academy?  These where the same old guys who were training to be operators.  Click on the link and watch that vid and read my commentary for some laughs.

Thoughts? Cute that they are still dressing the same ja?

Hat tip: Gregg


Every Wednesday Hans drops the kids off at school, park his Corolla at the range, loads his Glock and practices for operations yet unseen:

Aw that’s cute they all dress the same.

0:19 – Standard firing from the line.  Wait… 0:25, what’s with the tactical open mouth?

0:30 – Oh the old face slap / crotch blast / retreat and turn torso to mush.  One of my favorite tactical maneuvers.

0:41 – Hand over the mouth then a Mozambique… retreat backwards then do an embarrassing looking scan to see if there were witnesses.

0:47 – Screw your ABS pipe SON!  *pew pew pew*

0:59 – Whoa easy there Dieter… not everyone borrowed or bought the “Art of the dynamic ABS pipe fuckery” DVD yet.  Don’t be an asshole and try to show everyone up.

1:10 – Nikolaus threw some Pac on during the break and they all wanted to get gangsta with it.

1:37 – Sometimes in Germany you need to run and shoot at people who standing still.  I don’t make up the scenarios, I just report and judge them.

1:42 – German team building.  If you and all your tactical bros can’t put holes in each tango together in series what’s the point?

1:53 – Red goggles and choreographed moves.

2:08 – Pop smoke… pop tactical sleeping bag…  Send in the team to kill everything.  LOL it actually is captioned “Ballistic Blanket” when that green display circle with leader line pops up.

2:24 – Now this is just embarrassing.  They look like a bunch of girls fighting for Justin Bieber’s autograph back stage.  The dance drums were a nice touch.

2:54 – Take down the tactical meth cook.  Kill everyone.

3:26 – “They raised your daughters private school tuition by 30% next year… GO!”

3:40 – These guys love to pop smoke.  It’s crucial to put up a screen of smoke between you and the threat… then shoot blindly through the smoke until you run out of ammo.  Hopefully everyone on the other side is dead.

All that and they don’t appear to be shooting anything H&K!?  And these guys call themselves German… Ach du lieber *smh*

Regardless, what of I think about the “training” it does seem like a good excuse to screw around with some guns and go for schnitzel and bier afterwards.   Just gotta watch Klaus after beer three when he normally starts picking fights with the tourists.

Lahner-Academy-TrainingIf you want to train to operate in German operations with these guys head over to the Lahner Academy website.


Hat tip: Markus