Remember this?


Yea that’s Chris Costa’s HIV(E) satchel which I made tons of fun of for its obvious derpyness, then he released it in an even flashier version which I made more fun of.  I even speculated at one point that someone was on board at Blue Force Gear doing a masters thesis on shark jumping when they released even more ridiculous color combos.

Well you can imagine my shock when this email started coming through from people:


The above is a pic, so if you want to follow the actual link to the “last call” page click here.  OH LAWWWWWWD only the $50 tier is available now!  Looks like someone thought $5 to $40 was a good price to spend on a halloween costume or a gag gift for a tactical friend.

Well at least Costa seems to be learning from his mistakes somewhat.


Hat tip: Beau, Rush, Pierre,


Products currently haunting my dreams:
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“Shark Jump Orange”, no wait “Embarrassing Orange” yea that’s the Pantone color, I’m sure of it:



You know… because the original the satchel is SO far from the ugliest thing everyone has ever seen, so why not draw huge amounts of attention to it and the fact you have a gun inside of it by making a new version which is bright and covered with camouflage. *eye roll*  Way to be discrete.  The camouflage they selected actually does work perfectly, but only on women.  If you’re wearing this thing around, you will be 100% invisible to them… that’s science in action.  

I pretty much said all the other funny things I could think of in the original post I did on the Awkward Life Helmet Satchel By Chris Costa So You Don’t Hurt Yourself On The World, so check it out if you want some laughs.

Are you sold on this new colorway, or are you hoping he maybe releases a 3rd version maybe with dazzle camouflage, unicorn print padding, and fail fuchsia accents?  I’m thinking Costa should be a peach and throw an adjustable life helmet in for a bundle price to save the customers some money.

Chris-Costa-Hive-SatchelYou have some time before halloween, but when you’re ready these things are $195 over at Blue Force Gear.  I’m unsure if the limited lifetime warranty covers wear and tear from the beatings anyone who calls themselves a “friend” will give you if you buy one of these for real use… something to look into.


Hat tip: Logan


Chris “Shark Jump” Costa is back at it with a ridiculous pod shaped backpack…*ahem* sorry “satchel”:


I could barely catch my breath between LOLs when I first saw this thing.  Did April fools day get moved this year?  Astro Boy’s androgynous cousin Robin called, he want’s a piece of the profit for inspiring the design.

The Hive Satchel is $195 over at Blue Force Gear.  It’s funny how they say it’s so “discrete”… like yea sure it won’t look like anything with a gun in it to the untrained eye, but it will definitely draw attention and speculation because everyone that looks at it will be like “wow, that’s a fucking stupid looking backpack, what does he carry in there? Probably the life helmet he should be wearing so he doesn’t hurt himself on the world.” hopefully just to themselves, but if they say it out loud you can reply “IT’S A SATCHEL DAMNIT, and CHRIS COSTA designed it… DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO CHRIS COSTA IS?!  If not, KILL YOURSELF.”

homer-jump-sharkWho makes up the target market for this? Will it fit a rifle, tactical arm tape, zombie derp dvds, and Haley’s skin care products inside?  In an active shooter scenario I’d think this would be more of a liability than an asset because if the shooter is at all humane, he’d put the guy with the most retarded looking backpack out of his misery to start things off.

I think I may have given Costa way too much credit when he was with Magpul.  The guy is letting me down bigtime now.

Thoughts?   Does this next-level satchel meet your tier 1 requirements as an operator who operates in discreet urban operations?