security

Quick, someone save these vids for posterity:

Our mission is to become the premier security services firm in the United States by providing dedicated, professional security personnel and quality services to our clients.

A lofty goal.  Prepare to be dazzled by expert video after effects, stellar operational reloads mainly for dealing with hand injuries, and overdone useless “I didn’t see but I pretended to look” type threat assessments after every task.

0:31 – Special tenifer coated high speed low drag cookie sheets you wouldn’t know anything about.

0:42 – Aiming is for losers

0:53 – Injured your one hand?  Style points for opting to do a heel reload.  Not sure why you couldn’t just hit the slide release in a case like this when the gun is in slide lock… obviously it’s not as cool.

1:10 – Awwwwwwww shit the one handed reload.  We’ve seen this maneuver before!

1:17 – Weak hand upside down gun with pinky running the trigger.  If that wasn’t enough, peep the crotch reload.

1:28 – “Oh hold up… let me fix your upside down derp pinky trigger grip. There we go bRah… that’s much better.”

1:34 – Wow they are really trying to sell the idea of this one hand upside down pinky defense.

1:38 – If the standing heel reload earlier in the video wasn’t enough, if you train with them they will also throw in the kneeling heel reload at no extra cost.

1:48 – “Bitches don’t know ’bout my pivot / cookie sheet engagement”

1:57 – Knee tuck reload.  Sure, looks legit.

2:16 – Belt buckle reload.  Yea this is also a thing I’m not mad at, but couldn’t it be done on the side or back of the belt?

2:27 – BOOM hit you with mad credentials. Recognize.

A 2nd video on tactical defense shooting, with some additional lulz:

1:36 – Engage rapidly.  Throwing lead at 1000+ ft/sec in the general direction of something is obviously good enough.  Again, aiming is for low speed high drag losers.  As long as you make some noise and fake threat asses after, your good to go.

1:48 – Hot potato handgun… you know the drill.

2:00+ – hahah at the cut in LA bank robbery movie footage.

DerpIf you think you can handle this type of training, please don’t hesitate to contact Marshall Security Service & Training Academy.

Thoughts?

Hat tip: NAZ, Owen, Caleb

63 COMMENTS

Because not all of us are Piers Morgan and have armed security:

It’s really sad there are people out there that want to take EVERYTHING you have; even your life means nothing.  If you’re smart you’ll set up safeguards to stay alive, and keep whatever else is important to you safe as well.

MrColionNoir-ENDO-Keep-CalmVery well spoken MrColionNoir.  See I told you guys he would wear an ENDO t-shirt again, even after I refused to print on salmon colored blanks. ;)  You can pick the Keep Calm And Carry One t-shirt up in three different colors over at ENDO Apparel of course.

Thoughts?

10 COMMENTS

Clip, magazine? ugh… Get it straight.

Left on the plane by a Federal law enforcement officer hey?  Right… I suppose that could have happened, but what also could have happened is that the air tight security they think they have actually has some flaws, which they would never admit.

Full Story – HERE

5 COMMENTS

Why have a “we stand behind our products” video when you actually don’t? :P

The integrity of the glass didn’t even look compromised when the guy wimped out. Normally I wouldn’t harp on something like this, but the last 15 seconds of the video had the phrase “Defenshield [literally] stands behind its products” which burnt itself into my brain.

I cringe when I see testing videos like that anyway.  Putting a live person behind the glass doesn’t do anything that a watermelon or pretty much anything else couldn’t accomplish.

11 COMMENTS

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1-4p_QZuJY[/youtube]

That just looks painful. He probably forgot he was even carrying a gun after that.

5 COMMENTS

The pictures are not as captivating as usual, but still worth looking at.

Full Set – HERE

COMMENT