Cooking Some Bacon – The Machine Gun Method

Making breakfast couldn’t get any more manly:

I’ve discovered a new way of cooking bacon. All you need is: bacon, tin foil, some string, and.. oh whats it called?… oh yeah, an old worn out 7.62mm machinegun that is about to be discarded, and about 200 rounds of ammunition.

1) You start by wrapping the barrel in tin foil. Then you wrap bacon around it, and tie it down with some string.

2) you then wrap some more tin foil around it, and once again tie it down with string.

3) It is now ready to be inserted into the cooking device. I ripped the tin foil a little bit getting the barrel inserted. that part of the bacon got severely burned by hot gasses.

4) After just a few short bursts you should be able to smell the wonderful aroma of bacon.

5) I gave this about 250 rounds. but I think around 150 might actually be enough. But then again I don’t mind when bacon is crispy. Ahh the smell of sizzling bacon mixed with the smell of gunpowder and weapon oil.

6) And the end result: Crispy delicious well done bacon.

He should have bust some eggs downrange onto a hot skillet, or shot some oranges to make some juice!

The gun appears to be a German Rheinmetall MG 3 Machine gun.  It’s rate of fire is approximately 1150 rounds /min.

Too bad I don’t have anything with a high enough rate of fire to try this :(  I guess could work on my bump firing skills…. I can see it now “Bump Fire Bacon”!

Source – Reddit

133 COMMENTS - JUMP DOWN ↓ TO ADD ANOTHER

Will A March 27, 2010 at 09:00 am

I think i could probably do this with my AK after a few quick magazines.

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microweasel March 27, 2010 at 11:51 am

yes, this man is a genious

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TheGunny March 27, 2010 at 02:33 pm

I’m speechless…

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Zachg56 March 27, 2010 at 11:40 pm

Brilliant!

pure brilliancy!

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Borepatch March 28, 2010 at 05:29 pm

That’s like a Large Hadron Collider of shooty bacon awesomeness. I expect it will create black holes of shooty bacon awesomeness.

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nom March 29, 2010 at 09:47 am

Omg genius! Killing people early in the morning AND making a manly breakfast AT THE SAME TIME D:

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Pete March 29, 2010 at 12:11 pm

this is much cooler that throwing your MRE on the exhaust grill and telling the driver to red line it in neutral….

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Admin (Mike) March 29, 2010 at 03:09 pm

You have done that? LOL sounds like it would work, but you’d have a lot of explaining to do if you wrecked the engine rather than use the chem heater

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Dustin March 30, 2010 at 01:42 pm

I’ve done this many times with a HEMMT (big truck). You leave it in at idle for a few minutes, and then high idle for a second (Which shoots the MRE into the air. I got to where I could approximately aim my MREs by how I parked my truck, before I was out of the Ammo platoon and firing munitions. I guess the MREs were just practice for a budding redleg.

Just don’t leave it in too long. I did this over 100 times and never broke anything, though.

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me March 29, 2010 at 10:30 pm

ummmm. lead poisoning? What about mercury from primers maybe? Awesome except for the fact that you wasted bacon and you could have just eaten it if cooked normally.

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Tank March 29, 2010 at 11:02 pm

Pussy. Real men aren’t worried about lead and mercury. We eat that for breakfast, and shit it out for lunch.

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Admin (Mike) March 30, 2010 at 01:05 pm

LOL i’ll have to remember that line.

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Munch March 30, 2010 at 04:36 pm

This is why “real men” are often such retards.

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Zachg56 March 29, 2010 at 11:56 pm

hush now….manly bacon cooking is in progress

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bigred198404 March 30, 2010 at 09:53 pm

duck, here comes seconds

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Admin (Mike) March 30, 2010 at 01:06 pm

Cooking it normally wouldn’t have allowed the rest of us to be amazed by the awesomeness of cooking it via machine gun fire, so that’s a moot point.

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Gewehrnut March 30, 2010 at 03:12 pm

Where is the lead and mercury coming into contact with the bacon? No candyasses allowed.

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mountain March 30, 2010 at 04:07 pm

me:

They haven’t used mercury in primers since before the second world war. Just stay away from old ammo and you’ll be all right!

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Tomii March 31, 2010 at 12:42 pm

Modern primers are mercury free (that’s what made them corrosive in ye olden days)

Jacketed slugs leave no lead behind….

Copper is good for the reproductive system in men…

But yeah, I agree with the bit about some of the bacon likely being lost.

Seems he should weld a skillet to the barrel. *Then* he’d be cookin’!

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OldGeezer March 29, 2010 at 10:39 pm

Shoulda fried up some hasenpfeffer on that Kraut gun, boyo.

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neil March 30, 2010 at 12:55 pm

Thats how you cook!!!!!!

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Texan March 30, 2010 at 01:22 pm

Bacon and bullets … it’s a damn fine day!

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comatus March 30, 2010 at 01:26 pm

Wot no respect for the water-cooled Browning? One word;
One manly word:
Sauerkraut.
Ohyeah.

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RandyB March 30, 2010 at 01:35 pm

Look out Rachel Ray, we may have a new cooking show here!

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mike March 30, 2010 at 01:36 pm

it makes death smell more pleasant.

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grichens March 30, 2010 at 01:43 pm

The Jihadis will be offended by the aroma.

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Admin (Mike) March 30, 2010 at 03:02 pm

hahah good call. It’s a win win situation!

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Blaine March 30, 2010 at 02:33 pm

I love the smell of bacon in the morning, it smells like victory.

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subrot0 March 30, 2010 at 02:34 pm

The only thing better would be bacon cooked by a flamethrower!!!

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Windy Wilson April 2, 2010 at 07:11 pm

No, that would be pork roast. Just as offensive to the Jihadis.

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Fred March 30, 2010 at 02:49 pm

Bacon and machine guns. My life is now complete. They should work this into a movie somehow. Or better yet, work a movie around this idea.

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Critter March 30, 2010 at 03:37 pm

Needs some biscuits cooked up in a mortar tube.

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18 charlie March 30, 2010 at 03:58 pm

I used to cook the old C rats on the engine block of gammagoats. But now I am thinking we need a pan attachment with a picatinny base for the front rails and a cup holder for coffee. Let me run out to the garage and fire up the welder and see what I can come up with.

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boarwild March 30, 2010 at 04:43 pm

Get it right: that’s cooking bacon with an MG 42!! The MG 3 is basically the German MG 42 (maschingewehren modell 1942).

That’s the way to do it!!

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Admin (Mike) March 30, 2010 at 04:48 pm

I don’t think so.. the MG 42 is 7.92x57mm Mauser.

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Tom M March 30, 2010 at 04:51 pm

I love the smell of manly bacon in the morning. Smells like…victory.

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boarwild March 30, 2010 at 04:56 pm

Mike – true, but the MG 3 is a re-chambered MG 42 round. everything else is the same. They cut down on the rate of fire a little bit, 1150 as opposed to 1500.

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Admin (Mike) March 30, 2010 at 05:01 pm

ah gotcha. I get what you’re saying, that a MG 3 is a modified MG 42, but wasn’t I still right in calling it a MG 3 then? Considering it doesn’t shoot 7.92×57mm Mauser.

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truk29 March 30, 2010 at 05:18 pm

So far so good, but, how about wrapping dough around the barrel of the MA-Duce, for crispy biscuits. Fire up the Hummer and get the exhust manifold hot and stir up some good bacon drippings gravy, and poach a couple eggs and have a REAL “Down South” breakfast. Idle minds come up with stuff like this…….

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boarwild March 30, 2010 at 05:28 pm

The model is of 1942 design, so it can be called an MG 42. with the standardisation of rounds for NATO, they kept the same 1942 design but rechambered it 7.62 and cut down (somewhat) it’s voracious appetite for ammunition. we’re really just splitting hairs here. if look at both, they’re practically identical.

for the record, i’ve never understood why the US Military used both the water-jacketed M1917 and the M1919A3 (if memory serves me correctly here) straight thru Korea. they were both basically obsolete and had a low rate of fire (600 rpm). i’ve talked to veterans, and they said that ripping, buzz saw-like report of the MG 42 chilled them to the bone and wasn’t good for morale. we copied it with the M60 but rate of fire was still the same.

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boarwild March 30, 2010 at 05:30 pm

to be clear: the M1919A3 was air cooled.

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MohammedAlLah March 30, 2010 at 05:41 pm

Please not kill my people with piece of dead pig tied round gun thanks. We happy free people, no need for bacon gun.

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jason March 30, 2010 at 07:36 pm

but is it practical? why would you ever want to while…..

brilliant!

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Muntzy March 30, 2010 at 08:30 pm

Our troops should be “fatbackin” all the rounds they take on patrols.

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Admin (Mike) March 31, 2010 at 01:40 pm

haha that would definitely make the news.

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Super80 March 30, 2010 at 10:16 pm

OH THE BEEMANITY.

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Alaska Dan March 31, 2010 at 01:27 am

Weapon is an MG42 (8mm Mauser ammo) that was later redesignated as an MG3 when it was rechambered for the 7.62 NATO (roughly, 308 Winchester) cartridge. Very accurate for a machine gun, and really spits out the ammo (up to 1200RPM). Very revolutionary reciever design that was about fifty years ahead of its time. Most modern machine guns copy the technology used to develop this one.

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Я March 31, 2010 at 04:17 am

Возьму два!!! Запиши на счёт!

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charlie8888 March 31, 2010 at 05:25 am

Great for the Muslim world as the smell of bacon should destroy more than the guns shells

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sedat May 13, 2010 at 12:19 pm

very interesting thanks,

charlie you are blind man? not about eyes your heart, islam is just about the peace and there is no war in its book,

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Ironcross March 31, 2010 at 05:47 am

How immature! There are millions of children killed everyday by guns and millions of pigs killed everyday for their bacon you gun nuts should all be ashamed!

Actually that’s a load of crap I LOVE BACON! Next time you have to wrap a big German sausage around it first and then bacon – it is a German MG afterall – MMMM BACON

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Scottie880 March 31, 2010 at 08:08 am

I love the smell of Bacon in the morning, it smells like vitory!!!!!!!!!!!

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Hugh March 31, 2010 at 09:06 am

Hmmm, I wonder how many rounds I would have to fire through my bolt action to get the same effect… Alternatively this could be a good range staff snack after a long day coaching on LSW and SA80…. 5.56 bacon buttie, anybody?

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Bill March 31, 2010 at 09:58 am

AMERICA! FUCK YEA!

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Vejadu March 31, 2010 at 11:14 am

So where is the U-tube of this? Need the soundtrack for full effect!

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DevonButler March 31, 2010 at 07:16 pm

bacon is amazing

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Sam March 31, 2010 at 09:53 pm

Yummy.

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Dave April 2, 2010 at 11:05 am

MUST arrange pan appendage- me needs me bacon wrapped in QUICHE!!!

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Doug April 3, 2010 at 05:03 am

hahahahaha Now THAT was original…

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Alferd April 3, 2010 at 08:54 am

I agree with Ironcross of 3/31 above. Very immature and sadistic. Killing poor innocent animals for meat. People like that should be ashamed, why don’t they got to the supermarket to buy their meat where no poor animals are killed

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Jim A April 3, 2010 at 10:20 pm

The next step is brewing coffee with a Vickers gun. A slightly oily brew I’d guess.

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Admin (Mike) April 4, 2010 at 11:42 pm

That’s a damn good idea Jim!

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Lyn April 4, 2010 at 07:00 pm

Oh my gosh, that is hilarious! I can so see my 16 year old son doing that. Although I hope he never gets his hands on a machine gun…

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Admin (Mike) April 4, 2010 at 11:43 pm

Although I hope he never gets his hands on a machine gun…

haha gotta watch that gun show loophole then :P

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Electrolux April 5, 2010 at 12:18 am

The energy you send out is the energy that comes back. This is exacting to the atom. Some call it Karma. In this way we are the creators of the world around us and are thus very powerful Entities. The guns are incidentals.

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soldierOFmany April 5, 2010 at 11:12 am

im in the ARMY and going to the range tomorrow with the M240B; a fully automatice machine gun thats shoots 7.62mm rounds! perfect now i need to get some bacon and try it

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augman April 5, 2010 at 01:26 pm

I’ll bet the vegans are quaking in their Birkenstocks.

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wmhandy April 8, 2010 at 07:50 pm

This is nothing less than thinly veiled BACON PORN. And well done at that !!

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zen April 12, 2010 at 01:03 am

charlie8888 says:
March 31, 2010 at 5:25 am
Great for the Muslim world as the smell of bacon should destroy more than the guns shells

That’s pretty a pretty bad thing to say.

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C.W.G. April 21, 2010 at 08:29 am

Sun Tzu would have agreed with the method… Attack the enemy’s weakness.
‘zen’, do us all a favour… and insert a rose on a stem down into the barrel of a rifle and then fire it.

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Norwegian Soldier May 29, 2010 at 06:17 am

It´s a MG 3 allright, sad part is its still used by the Norwegian Army in Afghanistan…..

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Danish Veteran June 8, 2010 at 03:53 am

Waaay up there in northern Afghanistan, where it’s safe. =P

Seriously brother, we are looking forward to see the rest of our scandinavian brothers at our side in Helmand.

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Proud American November 15, 2010 at 11:23 am

Too bad that the Muslim’s don’t eat pork, so cannot enjoy this deliciousness

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US RCP Pvt April 10, 2012 at 05:01 pm

saw some danish soldiers with mg3s in the helmond.

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US Sapper November 23, 2010 at 04:16 am

no, not a bad thing.

German Army still uses it too, it’s the fastest and most reliable MG in the world.

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BoomGoesDynamite December 6, 2010 at 08:36 pm

How is that sad? it has a higher rate of fire than any other single-barrel mg, which isn’t always needed but when the shit hits the fan and you gotta put rounds down range this is the gun for the job. That and it’s relatively light for a 7.62 belt-gun, easy barrel swaps, and its sexsay!

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jogern June 26, 2010 at 09:52 am

Well it migth be an old weapon, but it’s a good weapon.
It works, and there is not a lot of moving parts that can break.
And easy to replace things that eventuly break.

Look at the M2 Browning machine gun. It’s from 1933 and is still in use today (even by the USA) and there is no real replacement for it

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jackass November 18, 2010 at 10:36 pm

the M2 entered service in 1921, not 1933.

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REDNICK 11 September 2, 2010 at 05:08 pm

NO EGGS!! NO TOAST!!??BEATS THE NEVER GAS HEATER!!

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DanielS September 22, 2010 at 01:25 pm

This is simply awesome! Man couldn’t invent a more manly way of cooking bacon then this, save for maybe a tank’s barrel.
I’m going to have to give this a ‘shot’ for sure!

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eazyT October 8, 2010 at 12:17 am

YUM GUNPOWDER RESIDUE! I refuse to eat before washing my hands after a few shots with a .22. That’s gotta be some gritty bacon

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RyLee November 14, 2010 at 10:40 pm

@eazyT lawlz dude grow a pair ;D
learn to love the taste of lead poisoning >:D

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casketsalesman November 23, 2010 at 07:37 pm

now that’s genius

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Zac Carter December 13, 2010 at 12:43 pm

dude thats the cats ass

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Ross January 23, 2011 at 12:06 am

taliban crowd control????

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Crazy dane February 3, 2011 at 08:04 am

Great way to make sure talibob don’t steal your MG XP

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Houston February 16, 2011 at 10:32 am

You can easily do this with an AK, even in semi-auto mode….but it will be expensive. I once shot a tree down (about 1,000 rounds over a five minute period) and the barrel was so hot it melted right through the plastic chair I leaned against.

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Robert Snickes August 22, 2011 at 08:36 pm

great way to make breakfast if u wanna die, form lead poisoning

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Neil Eneix October 21, 2012 at 02:02 am

Wrap bacon tight. Put around barrel… and cook for about 10 minutes at 300… rounds. lol

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MarkGOP March 22, 2013 at 11:21 pm

“Grease Gun”

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