Somebody Picked The Wrong Girl – Glock Commercial

Oh Glock… Ok here we go, I’m going to break down the video:

0:02 – Guy in a white utility van in a black winter hat stroking his goatee and creepin on a girl going into her house.  This is already bad news because as far as I’m only rapists and plumbers own vans like that, and there was no background info about her toilet having any issues.

0:09 – Girl is now inside.  We find out she’s cute and has red hair (bonus), and slipped into some booty shorts (bonus #2) and a purple little low cut number with lace trim (bonus #3)

0:11 – You’ve got to be shitting me… that looks like the R. Lee Ermey Glock “wrong diner” commercial intro

0:17 – Creeper still stroking that beard and looking creepy

0:19 – OH LAWD… it is the “wrong diner” commercial… this is starting to get lame as shit.  A promo within a promo?  Lets see where Glock is going to take this

0:23 – *knock* *knock*  Who the hell knocks like that?  I would have palmed the steel/polymer right then.  She decides to get up and see who it is… sees that creepy rape van outside, gasps, but then is like “meh fuck it” and sits back down.

0:36 – Oh wait.. some acting just kicked in and now she’s acting hot and bothered.. or maybe scared, I can’t tell.

0:41 – More knocks… the knock timing wasn’t quite as creepy, but she’s naturally alarmed.  She gets up anyway… look out the peep hole to see the creepy rape van but no one there.

0:51 – OH LAWD… chain wallet, beard, and now we find out he has a pony tail… some shit is going to go down. Shit always goes down when there is a chain wallet – beard – pony tail trifecta.

0:57 – She’s now scared.  She heads to her bedroom… Goes under the bed and gets her gen4 compact (G19) from some lame lockbox with a not much of a code.

1:13 – Back on the couch but the Glock beside her.  This is how the night should have started in my opinion, and with me there kicking that gun blog flava to her ears, but whatever… continuing on.  More knocks… they are now quick and hard! She’s not impressed.

1:19 – She gets up to go to the door and sees the handle being jiggled.. backs up… steadies her gun at the door.

1:28 – Door BURSTS open… creeper is now INSIDE!

1:35 – He sees her with the gun and faints.

1:45 – He wakes up and is on a stretcher with handcuffs, and R lee Ermey (a paramedic in this case) drops the tagline.  Did the guy hurt his head or something?  Who really gives a shit if he did, I say.  I suppose he’s there as a paramedic since they are “first responders”.

Glock-LogoI’m really disappointed to see “Perfection” hasn’t yet transcended from firearms into promotional videos.  If Glock wasn’t scared of a little controversy, I’d like to be hired to make them the most badass promo video, the world has ever seen.

Thoughts?  If you have a van like that but aren’t a rapist or a plumber I’d like to hear about it in the comments as well.



Matt R January 17, 2013 at 03:42 am

I like how they filmed it in the style of a modern day porn…

Punish3r January 17, 2013 at 03:57 am

Wow that was a bad commercial.

Jeep January 17, 2013 at 04:03 am

I don’t even want to know how much they paid for this crap. Give me the gun as a salary and I make 10,000 times better, on a DVD, with hidden porn bonus (with the same girl and… not the same guy!).

janiak January 17, 2013 at 04:55 am

After watching a number of times, it seems like the “faint” is being used as a metaphor for an assailant “stopped” by a DGU. It would have been better if the bad guy hadn’t woken up, but I can see where Block is targeting two groups of people here: those of us that understand that “stopped” means forever and those that think “disabled” is an OK outcome. Personally, I like the ad as it might (stress MIGHT) entice a fence sitter or two to take the plunge and become a gun owner. One can hope…

janiak January 17, 2013 at 04:59 am

Apologies for the “Block”. My android tablet auto corrected Glock without my permission. I own a Glock ( or two) and while they are not my preferred pistol, they are perfectly serviceable firearms.

AaronW January 17, 2013 at 05:54 am

Imagine if Paul Barrett had written his book on an Android tablet, and never caught the mistake. Millions of puzzled readers would then be reading, “Block: Rise of America’s Gun.”

janiak January 17, 2013 at 05:59 am

The true irony is that the robot auto-correct dovetails with the insults over the pistol’s look…

AaronW January 17, 2013 at 06:04 am

Hey now… I don’t buy Glocks for their looks, I buy them for the way they perform. (Sorry, not sure what happened there, I accidentally channeled some marketing-speak while meditating this morning)

janiak January 17, 2013 at 06:22 am

No comments on my part on the looks. You know how you have that moment. The one where, with pistol in hand, you realize that “this gun was made for me”? I, personally had that with the PX4 and I’ll be the first to tell you that it is ugly as sin. But it’s a straight shooter and reliable as can be. I’ll never begrudge a man for his choice in a pistol if it is the one that suits him. As I mentioned, I own a couple of Glocks (19 and 37). They’re fun to shoot, accurate as hell and durable to boot. Just not quite comfy enough (for me) to be a daily carry gun. In fact, I can’t think of anything short of a few high-end 1911’s that I would consider “pretty” as far as recently manufactured pistols go…

AaronW January 17, 2013 at 06:26 am

Oddly, I do consider the Glock 19 the best looking of their product line. I’m just in kind of a silly mood – probably trying to lift my spirits since I’m a beleagured (sp?) New Yorker. For me personally, my Kimber, Mark II and GP100 are my best-looking pistols and they are also comfortable and accurate to shoot. I go back and forth on my Glock 17…

janiak January 17, 2013 at 08:14 am

My Kimber CDP II is easily the best looking ( and shooting) pistol that I have. For all the knocks they take over the “break in period”, I’ll still take a Kimber over any other sub 2k 1911 any day of the week.

Sux being a New Yorker these days. I’ll tell you straight up: Texas will take folks like you with pride if you can find an excuse to move your gun-lovin @$$ down here. We love bringing real Americans into the confortable fold. We may talk slow, but we think ( and shoot) fast and make some damn fine BBQ. We’d love to have you!

AaronW January 17, 2013 at 08:35 am

Some of the people at my local range work at Kimber’s Yonkers plant. As for Texas, I very much appreciate the invite.
I’ve never heard so much talk amongst the NY gun community about relocating to other, freer states…

MattW January 17, 2013 at 09:09 am

I will echo that invitation to Texas, great state, great people (as a recent transplant to Texas myself)

AaronW January 17, 2013 at 05:40 am

There’s a whole sub plot edited out of this commercial… she works at Barnes and Noble, and the “perp” was Richard Marcinko, and all he wanted to do was complain about his books always moving to the “bargain” section.

janiak January 17, 2013 at 05:48 am

+1 for the luz!

Suburban Sheepdog January 17, 2013 at 09:36 am

OK, that made me LOL.

John January 17, 2013 at 05:52 am

Bet she could suck a golf ball thourgh a garden hose.

Lee January 17, 2013 at 06:07 am

Nice grip. I can not believe a sat through the whole thing, but now I want a Gen 4 Glock 19.

That Guy January 17, 2013 at 07:45 am

the Perp fainted because he spent too much time on ARFcom and thought he was about to witness a .40 caliber kB!

MattW January 17, 2013 at 09:10 am

Haha! Good one

dave w January 17, 2013 at 10:08 am

ha, i love trolling arfcom

ENDO-Mike January 17, 2013 at 05:01 pm

hahah win!

Jim P. January 17, 2013 at 07:53 am

Way back in the day, when there were three major OS’es in the computer server wars, every year the Novell guys wanted to give Novell a decent marketing department for Christmas. Everyone can see what happened.

I’m going to put a decent marketing department on Glock’s Christmas wish list.

MattW January 17, 2013 at 09:11 am

Except I see huge differences in the mainstream adoption of Glock compared to Novell, so the awful commercials probably won’t hurt their business much.

Jon January 17, 2013 at 08:33 am

The girl has ‘Star’ written all over her..

Suburban Sheepdog January 17, 2013 at 09:34 am

I have owned and carried a G19 for 20+ years. Tens of thousands of rounds out of one G19 or another.

I had NO idea there was a switch on it somewhere to activate a phaser set to stun.

Now where did I put the damned manual.

Still, attractive girl + little shorts+ finest defensive handgun presently in production ( + R. Lee.

I didn’t exactly HATE watching it.

Phil January 17, 2013 at 10:36 am

Chris Costa as the bad guy.

TheUnicorn January 17, 2013 at 10:57 am

I would have done a “Dexter” on his lame ass

BBJones January 17, 2013 at 11:13 am

why did that guy not have 8 holes in him?

That Guy January 18, 2013 at 10:10 am

It’s NY. It would be 7 holes.

AaronW January 21, 2013 at 07:01 am

It could be 8 or more holes, but then they’d both be taken away in cuffs.

Matt January 17, 2013 at 11:14 am

Maybe he had a sign for her front yard…proudly gun free…hahaha

Dave January 17, 2013 at 11:29 am

Hot redhead+gun= all good
Oscar nominated screenplay not required.

farmerjoe January 17, 2013 at 12:07 pm

Hey! Hot redhead, short shorts, a cup of hot chocolate and a hi capacity 9mm semi-auto. What more could a guy ask for?

BBJones January 18, 2013 at 10:33 am

you mean normal capacity. Don’t use anti’s language.

sancto January 17, 2013 at 01:51 pm

Why doesn’t she have a freaking deadbolt? He still could’ve kicked it in, but seriously, no deadbolt?

I think this could *almost* work as a commercial to women. The shorts make it seem targeted at guys and may put some ladies off. Also, it’s a mistake to have her watching something that might be intense (slow-mo of coffee pot breaking gives that vibe) – that coupled with her heavy breathing begs the question, “is she reacting emotionally or rationally by getting the gun?”

Lose the rape van establishing shot. Put her in pajama pants, watching a girlie drama and playing on her phone. Make the guy less tough and more creepy. A few subtle changes, and this could’ve been a lot more effective I think.

PJ January 17, 2013 at 03:24 pm

Don’t be hating on vans. Some people have to live in vans down by rivers.

ENDO-Mike January 17, 2013 at 04:12 pm

Classic stuff. That was when SNL was at its best…

farmerjoe January 17, 2013 at 10:39 pm

I wear Vans all the time

Dom P. January 17, 2013 at 03:30 pm

call your buddy over to hold him up shoot him 3 times in the chest then put a knife in his hand. then call the cops. problem solved!

PhoenixNFA January 17, 2013 at 03:52 pm

The amount of “oh lawd” in this post is TOO DAMN HIGH!!

I bought a glock yesterday. Glock 17 gen 4 too. And it only cost me $650!!!

Goddamn ban prices.

Joe January 17, 2013 at 04:49 pm
Jim January 17, 2013 at 05:09 pm

All I know is that I met her at the Shot Show in Vegas today and she looks even more incredible in person!

dave w January 17, 2013 at 05:34 pm
ENDO-Mike January 17, 2013 at 05:40 pm

Whoa. *Keanu Reeves voice*

Saxon January 18, 2013 at 11:51 am

*Beevis and Butthead laughing*

PhoenixNFA January 17, 2013 at 05:54 pm

OH LAWD, the music at the end doesnt help. GLOCK, Y U NO HIRE ACTUAL ACTORS.

i still dont want a 19.

Dallas January 17, 2013 at 07:57 pm
ENDO-Mike January 17, 2013 at 07:57 pm

hahaha perfect.

Steve In Delray January 17, 2013 at 10:52 pm

Has anybody noticed that 00:31 to 00:41 is reversed film? In other words; they simply played that section backwards instead of filming her sitting back down. Looks like somebody picked the wrong Director of Photography.

sancto January 18, 2013 at 09:51 am

Haha, I hadn’t noticed, but you’re right. That’s amazing.

Sivl32 (elvis) January 17, 2013 at 11:42 pm

can we have more of the girl please? i’m pretty sure she is the right one.

Ranger G January 17, 2013 at 11:45 pm

Beyond lame for Glock; doesn’t begin to touch the classic Awesome Guns video from a few years ago….

M444ss February 28, 2013 at 08:58 pm

And a free rock with every purchase. Totally awesome.

Joel January 20, 2013 at 08:34 am

Thought it was funny. Seems intentionally campy to me. I could watch her all day.

M444ss February 28, 2013 at 08:56 pm

Right on.

M444ss February 28, 2013 at 08:56 pm

I don’t get all the complaints. I like this Glock ad.

Kimberly Brown December 12, 2013 at 08:55 am

I loved this commercial! Although, I doubt he would really faint…(lol)
In real life, he would probably try to sweet talk her into putting the gun down,
or try and grab it away from her…
Then darn, she would have to shoot him!

Jason P September 3, 2019 at 03:57 pm

At least she had good trigger discipline. LOL

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