Derping Stone Magazine’s USA Top 5 Most Dangerous Guns

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LOL this is pure troll bait gold… the list:

  1. Pistols
  2. Revolvers
  3. Rifles
  4. Shotguns
  5. Derringers

Check out the full Article at Rolling Stone.

On slide 2 I learned that pistols have a “built-in barrel” and “short stock”.  WTF?  Mine must be defective because they have neither.

*face palm*… more derp on the revolver slide.

Hmmm so rifles are just NOW the most common hunting weapon.  Good to know… good to know…

Shotguns – the explosive that creates the energy to fire the gun occurs in the fixed shell of a shotgun rather than the metallic cartridge of a rifle.”  LOL this emphasis on fixed tells me she probably thinks the “metallic cartridge of the rifle” travels with the projectile.

Derringers… so deadly right now.  Derringers.  The biggest takeaway from this is that assault weapons are “loosely categorized as semi-automatic rapid fire weapons designed for combat use”.  Yea loosely categorized by idiots.  How about “ARE ACTUALLY semi-automatic firearms but are called ASSAULT WEAPONS to scare the sheep”.

Thoughts?  Renewing your subscription to Rolling Stone because of this?  They got on my shit list a long time ago, even before they Jim Morrison’d the Boston bomber glorifying him on the cover.

If there is any justice in this world, Kristen Guynne would be publicly humiliated for this article / fired.  I’m sure the humiliation is happening (from other pro-gun people and websites), but she’s probably getting a raise due to the epic pageview generating trolling rather than getting fired.  Troll on Kristen, troll on. *slow clap*

Hat tip: Linas, Pierre-Antoine, Steve

22 COMMENTS

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Jeep July 17, 2014 at 12:52 am

HA HA HA HA derringers are the best. 2 shots max, a barrel almost as long as the round you fire, and 15 seconds to reload 2 other shots.
That made my day.

Also, if you ever make it to the Derringer fantasy, click one more time on the arrow, and you’ll learn that a very funny thing, apparently for Rolling Stone there have been only 17 school shootings since 2000. Soooooo, what about the 96+ mainstream media were talking about 3 weeks ago? Maybe they are not worth an article in RS, I’m sure the families will understand the reasons why.

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Mount July 17, 2014 at 01:13 am

Next month on the Rolling Stone, we review the top 5 most deadly vehicles in America. Here’s a sneak peak:

1. Planes
2. Trains
3. Automobiles

Make sure to come back and laugh at our pitifully incorrect explanation of how airplanes fly.

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Rabies July 17, 2014 at 04:43 am

I would read that article.

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Scott July 17, 2014 at 05:19 am

HAHA. 4. Boats

Actually i think boats are killing more people these days than planes and trains.

I’ve never read Rolling Stone, not sure why. I was just never interested in other peoples opinion on music and culture. This is obviously an attempt to get some skin in the gun debate game. When i opened this article yesterday i was hoping to see some of my collection on the list. Now i feel like a criminal that ALL of my collection is on the list. *FACEPALM*

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Andyhasky July 17, 2014 at 01:15 pm

5. Derringers…

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Cayton July 17, 2014 at 07:52 am
277Volt July 17, 2014 at 09:44 am

One of the best scenes in that movie.

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Jim Jones July 17, 2014 at 06:17 am

Dear Kristen, you never, EVER do it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6WHBO_Qc-Q

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frank July 17, 2014 at 07:14 am

Rolling stone went FULL retard on this one.

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TheBear July 17, 2014 at 01:08 pm

Pretty much, yeah.

I always roflcopter when a national magazine has articles that would be rejected from a school newspaper.

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Johno Bigstick July 17, 2014 at 09:12 am

she clearly forgot several other deadly guns…. glue gun, staple gun, bb gun, caulking gun, …

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Don Gwinn July 17, 2014 at 10:51 am

You figured out why shotgun shells are “fixed” while rifle cartridges are “metallic,” I think. I was stuck on that one. Her descriptions of different types of firearms are just too much fun not to comment on, even if they are click bait. Like if someone asked what a “sports car” is, and I told her, “It’s an enclosed box made of metal and glass in which you can listen to loud music with magnets.”

It’s technically true, it’s just bloody barmy.

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Seb July 17, 2014 at 12:07 pm

LOL

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jim bob July 17, 2014 at 01:36 pm

Derringers are dangerous because they can be keistered, rendering them virtually undetectable without an x-ray or a probing finger. if it is a diminutive person, than their fingers are too short, and derringers are back to being undetectable.

also they go “pew pew”, but it takes 15 seconds before they can pew pew again.

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Damir July 17, 2014 at 05:28 pm

Do they make Derringers that accept 30 round assault clips? How about a shoulder thingy? I must have a Derringer now.

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hydepark July 17, 2014 at 06:21 pm

This has to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen.

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DaveP. July 18, 2014 at 03:14 am

…I’m sorry? Someone still reads Rolling Stone?

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Critter July 18, 2014 at 10:52 am

ah, derringers. makes me think of me poor mis-spent youth, it does. i was gainfully employed, but not well off, all those years ago, ye understand, and i was on a quest for what i called, to myself, the “sweet spot”. that is, a gun that i could afford but was reliable and effective. not easy. fortunately, i was acquainted with a sympathetic gun merchant, who was more than happy to take my money each time i traded in that last experiment and wanted another go with my latest find. it was at this time i espied the David Derringer in .22 magnum which in those days went for the princely sum of 79USD, new in the box. i took my new find out to the range that day and stoked it up with CCI magnums, took aim at all of five yards and….tried to cock it. really tried. it must have had a fifty pound hammer spring in there. it took both thumbs and some grunting to get the hammer back and i got the first round off. more grunting and the second went off but i wasn’t exactly keeping ’em on a paper plate. after a total of twenty rounds my hands were worn out and the target might have been unmarked if it had been moving around a little, except for the powder burns from the five foot flames belching out of the wee-bitty barrels. my sympathetic gun merchant was open for business the next day.

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Matt July 18, 2014 at 01:30 pm

Rick Derringer has deadly guitar licks.

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Zachary July 19, 2014 at 06:08 pm

Hey endo, can you give us some of these fixed shot shells? Can we get some .22lr too?

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ENDO-Mike July 20, 2014 at 09:29 pm

hahah I’m on it! Built in barrels and short stock pistols too!

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