Tactical Pants With Tactical Side Zip To Conceal Guns And Ammo

Holy this is so operator it hurts:

If only they made a stars & stripes version of their American made tactical pants so I could roundhouse people to the face.


The company which makes these is called Hoffner, and they are $150 on their website.  It doesn’t include that neoprene inside-the-pants holster, so make sure you add on a couple of those for $35 so you can carry your handgun, a spare magazine, and a flashlight, or FOUR AR-15 MAGAZINES LOL (pictured above) inside your pants by your thighs.  Gives a new meaning to the term thunder thighs.  If you check the graphic on the site you’ll see there are so many external pockets as well you could probably carry around several hundred rounds if you were strong enough and didn’t give a shit about mobility.  All jokes aside the pants actually do look like they are really good quality.  God those jeans look atrocious in the video though wow… like turbo mom jeans.

Oh and whatever you do, don’t forget to add a concealed carry neck id holder to the cart *smh*:

concealed-carry-neck-idI kid you not, that thing exists and it is only $30 on the Hoffner website.  According to them with the shit hits the fan, the police “will know you are the good guy” ahahhahahahhahahahhaha.


Gat tip: Matt W.



Frank February 10, 2015 at 02:33 am

This is a terrible idea. At a distance people might think he’s a cop or part of .gov.
Then the person with the “badge” looking ID, will be in a world of legal trouble.

Only a douche-bag would take this seriously.

Whatever happened to “AM I BEING DETAINED?”


JohnnyIShootStuff February 10, 2015 at 03:28 am

In my state, Pennsylvania, it takes more than a ID around your neck to end up in a world of legal trouble.

§ 4912. Impersonating a public servant.
A person commits a misdemeanor of the second degree if he
falsely pretends to hold a position in the public service with
intent to induce another to submit to such pretended official
authority or otherwise to act in reliance upon that pretense to
his prejudice.


Tom B February 10, 2015 at 05:14 am

They’ve had passport / ticket holders for travelers and I’ve seen many people in the airports as I travel the world who blindly carry them with they personal passport picture page exposed to anyone with a cell phone camera.


MrMaigo February 10, 2015 at 06:53 am

Doing that is extra stupid. US passports have RFIDs with all the passport info on it now and an RF shield in cover that prevents them from being read… when it’s closed. You don’t even need a camera, just shove a long range RFID reader in a laptop bag/backpack and get some coffee.


JohnnyIShootStuff February 10, 2015 at 03:21 am

Battle pants for $150? I’ll take five of them.


Gizmo February 10, 2015 at 03:43 am

Dead or alive you’re coming with me…


Drew February 10, 2015 at 05:05 am

Don’t forget to pick up an official “Concealed Weapon Carrier Badge” while you’re at it (major eye roll). One of the self-defense attorneys thought someone carrying anything like that, that the boys in blue would view the individual as a “strange ranger.” While the Bond music was cool, the theme to Miami Vice seemed more appropriate. SMH


Tom B February 10, 2015 at 05:16 am

The female version gave her some wonky looking hips.

There were some pants in the 90s from Lee I think it as that had more pockets. They were targeted at nerds with lots of gadgets. They didn’t last long either. The big thing was that ‘lower’ zipper that they have the gun in, yeah it did’ unzip real smoothly for you because it’s not near the waist and moves a lot more. It’d go down ok, but getting it zipped back up was annoying as hell.

I have a big enough problem paying $45 for Dockers. I wouldn’t mind trying it out, but not at $150.


TheBear February 10, 2015 at 08:49 am

Broke ass


Asdf February 10, 2015 at 05:20 am

I read American ** Apparel and I thought I was going to see tits.


Wielsucker (@Wielsucker) February 10, 2015 at 05:34 am

Didn’t see some of these on ebay? “Used, large hole in center, faded rusty stains”


overkill556x45 February 10, 2015 at 05:49 am

Wear as much weird looking shit as you can to mark yourself out as a concealed carrier. Because the point of concealed carry is to be easily spotted.


Jared February 10, 2015 at 07:41 pm

Like every 50+ guy in a leather vest. Everyone knows there is a gun in that.


Will February 10, 2015 at 07:08 am

I usually just wear snap-away warm up pants with a thigh rig under them.


277Volt February 10, 2015 at 07:51 am

Tear away men’s stripper pants are much better – been wearin’ ’em for years. My pasty white thighs blind ’em while I draw.


Anonymous Coward February 10, 2015 at 09:09 am

Tactical gun koozie. Ever since I moved to the South I’ve seen theme everywhere, but on a pistol is a first.


silent pisser February 10, 2015 at 07:39 pm

pants vid only 22 secs? damn i was looking forward to more shit to laugh at.

necker chl vid was not as funny but an equally bad sell of product.


sivl32 February 10, 2015 at 08:02 pm

I feel bad that they all have such bad Scoliosis, but glad that they all found each other and a purpose.


Alex February 10, 2015 at 10:13 pm

Pro tip: wear shades in your ID picture. Eliminates confusion when onlookers reference your face which is also sporting sunglasses. And use a cool name as well, one that asserts dominance, like Geronimo Peacekeeper III. Don’t think that you’re going to disperse a crowd with a name like Sebastian Fishwrist Jr. typed across the badge on your caved-in chest. This products are for alphas only.


Will Smith February 11, 2015 at 03:38 am

I can hear 5.11 laughing all the way from here.



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