Tosh.0 On Stolen Valor

Spoiler alert: Cory07ink doesn’t make an appearance.

Stolen-ValorIn the realm of stolen valor when you call a person out you have yell “STOLEN VALOR” and tell them “it’s a federal offense” apparently.  Cool story bros… the government has prosecuted precisely zero people so far (to the best of my knowledge).  I think this is incredibly shitty, especially in the cases where people are profiting off it by misleading customers.  Some of those people in the video are obviously pathological liars, or mentally handicapped.  Does it really matter if they want to pretend to be something they are not?  I’d hazard a guess that most of these guys are also so dumb that even if they did beaten up by veterans, they would just be back to faking it again the next day anyway… but likely with even more sympathy from the public because of injuries they sustained as an 11B in the sandbox.

3:57 – LOL revolutionary war veteran.

Thoughts?  Any of you guys have a stolen valor story of your own?

49 COMMENTS

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Never Go Full Yeager April 18, 2015 at 04:13 am

http://i57.tinypic.com/15x8owh.jpg – My favorite meme to come out of “Cory Gate”. Mike, when you make a post on this Blog with Cory “the Valor thief” Jackson, you need to use this picture.

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ENDO-Mike April 18, 2015 at 06:30 pm

Haha awesome.

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The Dude April 18, 2015 at 05:08 am

Wearing a uniform is not a federal offense nor is it a crime. It’s a protected form of speech as per the SCOTUS ruling in United States v. Alvarez. These angry soldiers have to accept that the oath they took means protecting the rights of people and that includes actions and speech they don’t like or agree with. You can’t run around slapping people, you might find yourself getting charged for an assault or even a civil right violation.

It’s time the military takes action against these raging enlisted asses.

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d0zer April 18, 2015 at 04:06 pm

You need to check your facts numbnuts. It is a crime to receive anything under the premise that you are a veteran when you are in fact not. Parade around like the bitch you are all you want. The second you accept so much as a free coffee for pretending to have been a vet, then yes, you very much have committed a crime.

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The Dude April 18, 2015 at 06:29 pm

Another angry enlisted glory whore who can’t read. You should really read the Alvarez ruling and the associated case law, you don’t have a clue what you’re talking about. This is why the military only values you enlisted tards to the point you can catch a bullet. You should read The Stolen Valor Act of 2013, I know there are big words in the act that you probably don’t understand, but you previous statements are not correct nor are they inline with the current act.

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A Sympathetic Counselor April 18, 2015 at 08:43 pm

Dude, you seem to have some unresolved anger issues towards folks in the military. Perhaps a man in uniform stole your gal or life partner or whatever, but you really shouldn’t let it eat at you for the rest of your life. I wouldn’t presume to lecture you, but I do have some experience with cases like yours, and I would be happy to offer you a private counseling session. No one will judge you or anything you say, it will just be you and me and the four walls.

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The Dude April 19, 2015 at 03:42 am

Nope, it’s about making you tards angry. You all spout off about shit you know nothing about. You can’t even be bothered to read the 2013 act or the SCOTUS ruling. I don’t expect much out of people who think they’re special for signing on the dotted line. These ass mad raging soldiers are far worse than the imposters they’re harassing, assaulting, confronting, and/or accosting.

I post this same thing every time I see a stolen valor story.

“Wearing a uniform is not a federal offense nor is it a crime. It’s a protected form of speech as per the SCOTUS ruling in United States v. Alvarez. These angry soldiers have to accept that the oath they took means protecting the rights of people and that includes actions and speech they don’t like or agree with. You can’t run around slapping people, you might find yourself getting charged for an assault or even a civil right violation.”

And it’s predictable what will happen.

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688smag April 19, 2015 at 05:57 am

So free speech doesn’t include vets? Is it not within their rights to call someone out?

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seans April 19, 2015 at 07:31 am

So you are cool with calling these guys out as long as there is no slapping right? Cause very little of them have anything that can even be considered assault. Cause that falls under free speach to call these guys out in public for being what they are.

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The Dude April 19, 2015 at 11:21 am

You rocket scientists should look up the legal definitions for harassment and disorderly conduct; it’s basically the same in every state. Screaming threats and following people around is not free speech, it’s actually a crime; it’s actually more than one crime if you make a threats of violence or bodily injury in your threat.

America hasn’t won a war in more than 60 years. Who the hell would want to wear U.S. military uniform, or join the military? It’s like wearing the uniform of losers who can’t win a war against some irregular toothless poppy farmers.

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688smag April 19, 2015 at 11:25 am

So you would agree to limitations on free speech?

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The Dude April 19, 2015 at 11:32 am

I see, like a three year old winding up to poop, where you’re going with this. How about your read both the SCOTUS ruling and the 2013 act. You’re about to sound like an unlearned fool who wants to talk about things she knows nothing about.

While you’re at, assuming you can read, you should read Schenck v. United States.

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688smag April 19, 2015 at 11:51 am

Nope I ain’t gonna read shit. You should chill the fuck out before you end up with end stage dick cancer.

The Dude April 19, 2015 at 11:55 am

I figured you haven’t read anything nor would you. It speaks volumes about your bar stool like expertise and wisdom. Again, it’s ass mad raging idiots like you who take an oath and then not only clearly violate the oath, but brag about it as well. No wonder so many of you come back from the sandbox and try to swallow your pistol.

688smag April 19, 2015 at 11:59 am

It may not be too late. You might be able to beat the dick cancer if you get immediate medical attention.

The Dude April 19, 2015 at 12:03 pm

It’s a shame there is no cure for your stage five stupid. Please, rage on some more.

688smag April 19, 2015 at 12:09 pm

You’re the only one raging here. Why, I have no clue. One can only assume you tried to enlist but were disqualified from service due to your inverted penis.

DocB April 19, 2015 at 07:24 pm

Oh, I get it. You got kicked out of ROTC just before you got your commission and now you’re mad that society doesn’t need any Poli Sci majors with philosophy minors. It’s OK. I understand you’re probably very upset about being “marginalized,” and not getting that coveted position of power you had your heart set on. But don’t worry your lil’ fedora or neckbeard about it. There will always be a place for irrationally angry baristas who vastly overestimate their intelligence and feel the need to belittle others who actually accomplished what they could only dream about. But, before you scurry back to making snide comments on Reddit and masturbating to anime before falling asleep while crying softly into your well-worn copy of The Unbearable Lightness of being, consider that while plenty of things may be constitutionally permitted we do indeed place limits on free speech. For example, shouting “fire!” in a crowded theater when there is no fire is not protected as free speech. And while the Supreme Court has ruled that wearing the uniform and impersonating a service member is not a crime so long as it is not done with the intent to defraud, that doesn’t make the person doing it any less of a dick. And while assaulting such a person is certainly ill-advised and not productive, getting an ass chewing should be considered a fairly light response coming from someone who may have had their friends die while wearing that same uniform. A uniform that they earned. And I certainly wouldn’t expect someone who has never worn the uniform to understand the enormity of the emotional response that seeing such an imposter can trigger.

The Dude April 20, 2015 at 03:39 am

ROTC, nope.
Poli Sci, nope.
Fedora or facial hair, nope.
Don’t even drink coffee.
Tugs come in the morning, not before bed.
Earned a uniform by signing on the line? Are you people really that sad? Are you really so broken down in life that you use a uniform as a symbol of achievement? I know you are, like aging former high school jocks trying to cling on to your glory days you cling to a uniform, patches, and hats of times pasts. It’s like saying, I be’d all I could be and it still wasn’t much of anything.

Come on now, the military is full of hicks, spics, and nigs. It’s like the U.S. goes to war every few years to clean out the gene pool.

DocB April 20, 2015 at 09:45 am

A morning masturbator who doesn’t drink coffee? Now I know your entire persona is fake. You sir, do not exist.

454 April 19, 2015 at 05:39 pm

You know those open carry demonstrators that like to record themselves during a police confrontation to defend our right to bear arms? I volunteer, “The Dude,” to costume up in uniform and frequent a few hot spots combat veterans tend to frequent in order to defend our freedom of speech.

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Mark April 21, 2015 at 07:02 pm

Actually, if you read US vs. Alvarez it does not say what you think it does. Read it carefully.

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A Sympathetic Counselor April 18, 2015 at 06:48 am

It’s really not fair to shout at these poor souls in public. Can’t you see they just need special counseling? Myself, I offer extensive counseling to cases such as these, in complete conformance with the stringent requirements of FM 22-102.

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rob April 18, 2015 at 11:29 am

ahahahahahha

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Disco April 18, 2015 at 08:31 am

Punk kid wearing his dad’s Nam era camo pants:
Cool. Fashion statement while honoring his dad.

Grown Ass man putting on a hundred plus dollar outfit to get free coffee or save 10% at Macy’s:
Turbo queer

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Jeep April 20, 2015 at 08:53 am

Finally, someone who issues a clear and simple statement. I think this is a far as it should get.

Keep your farb uniforms for Halloween and everybody will be cool about that. You’re grown ups, stop acting like a world-class *sshole.

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endo kendo crescendos April 18, 2015 at 03:49 pm

Just goes to show how much misplaced respect is automatically assigned to people in public that are in uniform.

The only place military affiliation or rank should matter is in the military where they hang cosplayers for breaching national security.

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heavyfire7537 April 19, 2015 at 08:57 am

Don’t let trolls piss you off. I think they should be embarrassed in public. Not a fan of laying hands on somebody though. Also the mentally ill and mentally handicapped should be spared a full blown outing.

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HMPlatinum April 19, 2015 at 09:29 am

The Dude obviously hasn’t served in any military organization, or he went to the Air Force Academy to learn such vitriol towards, “angry enlisted glory whore”, ” enlisted tards to … catch a bullet”, who can’t read “big words.” After all, ” I don’t expect much out of people who think they’re special for signing on the dotted line.”, tells us most of what we need to know.
We know who didn’t sign. We know who is “special”
To be fair, The Dude’s initial post was almost completely true and non-confrontational (other than “… these raging enlisted asses.”)
He didn’t start the name calling, but he didn’t keep it personal and between himself and the name-caller. Instead, he rants about “Nope, it’s about making you tards angry.”
Troll on, The Dude. The uniform isn’t protected, but the medals are. Every summary out there for the 2013 act lists that fact right up front. You make a point, Dude, of sticking to the uniform aspect, and that makes you correct.
So you’re right about one thing, and an insulting douche-bag to every military member who reads your trash. Good way to get your point across.

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d0zer April 19, 2015 at 10:46 am

So you are chosing to act the “school marm” role in taking issue with me calling him “numbnuts”? If this was not your intent, then I will apologize in advance. But, that’s how I interpreted it.

And FWIW, the “you” in the “[p]arade around like the bitch you are all you want” was generic. Anyway, I pretty clearly laid out my point.

The only salient point that I didn’t mention was that the decision for the case he was referring to, RE U.S. v Alvarez, predated the passing of HR 258 which is clearly what I was referencing. I stopped responding because either he was trolling or he was at best, not very bright. In either case, he was not worth my time.

He can claim that he was just referring to the wearing of the uniform, sans medals. But since these stolen valor douches are in it to bask in un-earned glory, or admiration, or whatever you want to call it, none of them just wears a bare uniform. They load it up with medals and ribbons. So claiming that one is arguing just for the wearing of the uniform, as it applies to these stolen valor losers, is a position that is not supported by the reality of this situation. Again, short of the cases of the idiots wearing utilities, none of these tards are content with wearing just a bare uniform.

And frankly, if the rest of the services would adopt as stringent a policy of being forbidden, with very few exceptions, to wear utilities off base as the Corps, then I don’t think there would be nearly the problem there that we see now.

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HMPlatinum April 19, 2015 at 03:28 pm

I can see how you would take it that way, d0zer. I take no issue with what you called him. I’m fairly hard to offend. I merely pointed out that his post refrained from such with the exception of the generalized “raging enlisted asses.” Call someone names, they’re very liable to respond in kind and then the conversation degenerates. I had no “intent” to call you out or any such thing, but stated it as lead-in to the fact his insults…well, let’s just say that it escalated quickly. Most people wouldn’t read back far enough to figure out what I was actually referring to, anyway…and it wasn’t that far back. But that’s the way it goes. So if that relegates me to “school marm”, so be it.

He specified he was talking about the uniform, sans medals. That’s the part SCOTUS was forced to deal with pre-2013 Act and that makes it the reality of this situation. There were several scumbags in the video who fall under what SCOTUS clarified. No medals. The guy at 0:25 though…

And the guy at the shitty-coffee house. If he actually convinced a barista to give him a shitty coffee-like substance because he was a military hero, that’s fraud. And it really pisses me off because, as they taught me in the USMC, “you have to earn that uniform.” But it’s only fraud.

Also, I strongly agree with your last statement. I get sick of seeing the Guardsmen here diddy-boppin around in their BDU’s without a cover on. I had a Gunny, backed by our Captain who made sure you’d pay (oh you’d pay) if he even caught you stopping to get gas (one of the “allowed” exceptions).

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d0zer April 19, 2015 at 04:28 pm

Well then, particularly since you are a fellow Teufel Hunden, no worries. “Numbnuts” is kinda’ an all-purpose term for me, but your point is well taken.

And as to my aggressive response…. his venom and verbiage are such that I am fairly certain he has posted here several times previously, albeit under a different pseudonym(s)–all on the issues of stolen, or recognizing our vets, and all disgustingly disrespectful and ignorant towards our military and her veterans. So, I jumped in with both feet.

Anyway, Semper Fi, and thank you for your service….

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The Dude April 19, 2015 at 11:38 am

Very good, you got it. I see you’ve bothered to read the 2013 act. You are in a league well above the other posters here. Welcome!

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688smag April 19, 2015 at 12:07 pm

I would like to take time to thank you for coming down from you ivory tower of righteousness and enlightening us poor serf’s. What were those cases I was supposed to look up again? You must forgive my ignorance for I am but a simple uneducated man. My only skill is looking stupid in front of people like you who have limitless amounts of knowledge.

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HMPlatinum April 19, 2015 at 03:41 pm

That doesn’t mean I agree with it, or your phrasing, or your direct attacks on the good men and women of the Armed Forces.
If all it takes is a “numbnuts” to set you off like that, perhaps you should take up that counseling offer.
I earned my uniform. I earned my EGA. I was a volunteer who “thought I was special.”
I am special because I, and many like me, defend your right to spout your own “special-ness” to the rest of us.

We also defend our own rights to let you know what we think of it.

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The Dude April 19, 2015 at 06:10 pm

Really, when Congress passed the patriot act where were you? Not defending rights. When congress tried to limit campaign speech, where were you? Not fighting for the first amendment. When the NSA and DEA is bulk collecting phone calls and emails where were you? Not fighting to protect the 4th amendment. When the POTUS has ordered lethal drone strikes, without due process, on U.S. citizens, where were you? You sure as hell weren’t protecting the rights of those people.

Don’t give me that defending rights shit. It’s a tired argument that doesn’t hold water. You’re all tools of the government. In fact, the third amendment specifically spells out the dangers of soldiers. The constitution protects people from you, the agents and arm of the gov’t. Maybe you should drink less of the marines (deliberate lowercase) Kool-aid. You’re a brainwash useful idiot.

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Squirreltakular April 21, 2015 at 09:39 am

You’ll make more friends in life if you stop just short of calling people brainwashed idiots.

I think all that butthurt would be better utilized by directing it towards the politicians who sent us to war, not the well-intending youth of this country who were tricked into fighting said those wars.

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The Dude April 21, 2015 at 05:08 pm

I’m not looking for mental misfits or double digit IQ friends. Those politicos did the world a favor by sending you subpar people off to be removed from the gene pool.

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DD April 19, 2015 at 09:50 am

Had an old company boss who made lucrative monetary gain/career advancement for embellishing his military background (elite ninja shit, of course). Thanks to public records an actual vet called him out, basically humiliating him into relinquishing his title. The amount of damage he caused cannot be measured; client relations, employees, brand reputation, you name it. This is where the real harm of the lie comes from and unfortunately, it’s not limited to military. Who is in hot water now for “misspeaking,” about how they were under fire from snipers on a diplomatic trip again?

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HouHef45 April 19, 2015 at 01:15 pm

I popped TWO bags of popcorn to read this comment thread and I’m severely…NOT disappointed. There’s more legal jargon being tossed around on here than an episode of Law and Order (the original, not SVU). God Bless this blog and all you ‘numb nuts’ and ‘glory whores’. This is great.

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endo.lurker April 19, 2015 at 01:40 pm

Remember the, “Grant,” guy who showed up on ENDO a while back saying civilian opinion didn’t count against that MoH Colonel because war hero? Yeah, you know what I’m thinking. “Grant,” VS, “The Dude.” Set it up Mike. Pay per view.

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ENDO-Mike April 19, 2015 at 04:30 pm

Haha need to take a vig on some bets too and buy that i8 I want. :P

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jeff April 20, 2015 at 05:22 am

i really feel bad for the people who have served and died in a military uniform . to them it means a lot more than a free coffee.
people pretending to have served this country to get free shit (yes attention counts as free shit) need to be shipped to Iraq for a week to see what it really means to wear that uniform!!

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Drapetomanius April 20, 2015 at 01:46 pm

I just don’t care. Am a veteran, not threatened by fake veterans in any way. I left all my fucks at home this morning and have one to give.

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Grindstone April 30, 2015 at 12:34 pm

Vet also. My thoughts exactly.

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Morgan April 20, 2015 at 07:40 pm

Enlisted. Navy. I don’t believe it is right to threaten, push, shout at or even slur these valor thieves. It’s beneath me. But when I see him profiting from wearing the uniform I’ll simply report him to law enforcement. If you think you should do more than that, well have at it. But don’t go ahead and break the law like him, or ignore his constitutional right to free speech which you swore to uphold. We’re enlisted, not elitist.

The occasions of Stolen Valor I’ve encountered were old drunks, or homeless bums or otherwise mentally troubled. Life has already sentenced them to a shitty existence.

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voteous April 21, 2015 at 10:29 am

why do the homeless have a shitty existence? is it because they don’t get a good nights sleep every night? or is it because they get high or drunk all day long sitting on cloud nine. and get money thrown at them for just looking ugly? it would be great if that what was going for me, but I have morals and a sense of dignity. people need to take a look at the real homeless there not all totally mentally disabled, they are drug addicts that don’t care about any one, or anything; don’t give them a dime, most likely they will never do anything for this world.

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Morgan April 22, 2015 at 08:23 pm

Yeah, I’m still not sure what your point is. Are you suggesting that some homeless people have such great lives that the need to be harassed by a J-walking veteran? Or are you making a ground breaking allegation that some hobos are high or drunk? Either way, if you think a hobo is breaking the law (stealing valor or otherwise) then report them to someone empowered by legislation to enforce your town ordinance.

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The Dude April 21, 2015 at 05:09 pm

Very good bro, you get it.

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