vipers academy

These guys continue to be like a parody-inception.  Priceless:

You might recognize these guys from a post I did called Vipers Academy For HSLD Operators a while back.  So priceless, you just have to click that link to check out the videos and read the comments on the post.  Make sure to visit the Threat Management Center website too for more LOLz than you can possibly imagine.

1:00 – hahah he calls himself an “escort” … and they charge $10.  How does $10 even pay for time and fuel to drive some place to “escort” someone?  Where are they getting the money for H3 Hummers, speed boats, equipment, that derp training facility etc.. not to mention paying their employees?   They must escort a lot of people every day at $10 a pop.  Oh yea and sweet Blackhawk vest bRah.

2:00 – I really do like the idea of prevention rather than prosecution.  It should just be done in a far less tactical mall ninja derp operator type way.

Damn Detroit has some nice looking old buildings though!  I wonder if I could pick one up for cheap, then mount mini-gun sentries at every corner?  Probably would need that.

LOL at the 9:00 position on their logo it actually says “Tactical Law”.  Sounds like “bird law” status to me. Woot! Two bird law jokes in one day… things are looking good.

Threat-Management-CenterSince they were going for alliteration in their “Deterrence Detection Defense” motto, they might as well throw “Derp” in there for good measure.

What they are doing seems to be scaring the bad guys away though temporarily anyway while they “escort”.  Amazing what some matching uniforms and cheap tactical gear can do for deterrence.


Hat tip: Drapetomanius


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Vipers Academy A.K.A. Mall Ninja University.

Let me walk you through a couple of videos…

1) Shows how to stop someone within arms reach from shooting you

Good in theory, if you are dealing with some stationary halfwit slowpoke that isn’t really planning on taking your life.   Otherwise I don’t see how these would work.

2) Threat Management Center Training Tour

A real mall ninja playground.  They’re even training a mall ninjette! I’m still not entirely sure these aren’t parody videos… but moving on…

3) Flipping a gun on your attacker

More mall ninjettes at the beginning.   The dude at 0:42 looks like he wants to hit the instructor so bad when he keeps getting told his not doing it right LOL

4) Napolean Dynamite would be jealous of the mad skills displayed by these operators.   It’s just too bad they weren’t hitting some sweet jumps on their bikes while maintaining a shooting platform.  One of the best videos in the set for LOLz

If you watch the videos, it’s almost like the people in them are not “in on the joke”.   

Even their website has a real mall ninja special operator feel to it – HERE

They operate out of Detroit!  Coincidence that Robocop is from Detroit?

As always, make sure to save the vids, because the last little while I’ve had a good track record of embarrassing people/companies into removing their own vids and then none of you get to see them.

Hat tip: Jacob R & Ryan H